SHADOW OF REALITY..May..31.10

I with my world of
windy storms
when encountered you

it realised
you had gone a step beyond

probably my wings of fate

It's the way
storms never tell you
what's there at their path

may be its either way
its de facto force
too unstearable

how you came
and vanished

still too live around

I got constrained
of the if and buts

It has been around

but my hurt feels
its not your horizon

I am accustomed to

may be
one day

you have a chance
to come to my world of

oblivions

may be you might know
its better a too original one

I know
you too shall be constrained

is it
some exist
with bubbles of ephemeral moments
at their hand

I see the Blue
it says

never take to the heart
you have a lot to go

burns may prove another challenge

I look around
as if you're jealous of my challenges

I am too jealous
of the stuff with me

its my way
learned
what's came across me

source: ??

SHADOW OR REALITY..May 30.10

my ecstatic movements with u
I took it's rosy with me
hell with rest of the world

when you are not around
I wonder at my conclusions

feters the environs
left by you

some times nerves takes its too dead
but I survive with the dew drops of your time

why we are obsessed to such extremes
I forget to know

I know this is not going to help

I have searched a whole hell of souls around
prime movements hardly establish
everlasting bank of possessions

Nature is not cruel either way
as its ways and means are open ended

so I read your profile verbatim the bible way
as if
some day
my inner half gets the ultimate weapon
of
self steering
with ecstasy

source::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::

SHADOW OF REALITY..May29.10

today's after Noon showers cooled the hot world

its not that
simmering hot does bring you
in a different way

showers makes the wait more mystic

I have resiled my way of
with your thoughts
lit large
every where around

but at hearts of heart
I miss you round the clock

my psychiatric medicines make me fit to fight loneliness for a few hrs
your absence makes its work more tough and less lasting

there is hardly anything
that interests me

I manufacture the relevance

but my heart says how far

my jealous will to survive
probably Nature is opined to have second thought
at every other second

I see it deep in the Blue
but It says I am with and within you

probably It accepts its deceit
de facto

I take Its failure
in good stead

fight my way

to chill the vacuum
with another manufactured way

It says
some how
you're more dedicated to me

I remain too reply-less

and stop to ask
any more

source::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::::::::

SHADOW OF REALITY..May..28..10

I have tried to close up the panoramic view of U
why I remain obsessed in the stuff

reasons may belie my own interpretations

every day spells ladden with your aura
ask me
let's go
its better on the other end

I somehow put me in shape
get the will to stride my way

another spell comes
I loose the boost
so assiduously developed
with your tender thoughts

I again put some shape
and run the clock

evening brings another tough front
U have worked hard
every moment
to make me in shape

but me the twisted
look why don't U come across

your hearts whispers
I am not made for you

I wonder
how your heart analyses the things around

it again says
love me but love me not

I read it as if touch me and touch me not

my steps cross the chasm of reality and oblivion

find another storm
me in the eye of twists

look for
how far I shall relie

shouldn't I become a part of the storm

your heart again whispers
shall it be
to discern the ghost and real love

I ask
what makes the difference

source:::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

MELTED LAVA..May.27.10

I was just standing at a pan shop near my this stupid pc
the man was preparing penetrating beautiful pan for chaps besides me

I added my request after a thought

after a stroll on the night turned highway
I did realise
pan could have fetched u near me
it's profusely wonderful in taste

and again
this bullshit pc

I take the things
as it comes to me

but my heart
its a royal child with me

days after nights
this heart has stopped waiting

at my work its a taxing nerves all around me
and my heart hardly stops short of asking lolly pops

I have told every body around
look for me in the adjoining corridor
I stand there with my cup of tea and lady love i.e Navy cut

I too remember Dr. Manmohan Singh Prime Minister of India
and his Einsteinium theories around us
I wonder whether he has opined it for my lady love

but I hardly talk to any one
lost in my own world

see through the horizon

suddenly the equation of work pulls me to my seat

my pencil runs like super sonic aircraft
my colleagues often wonder
and ask : corridor is good for you

it brings fast things out of you

I remain too calm
look at my pencil
as it needs too frequent sharpening

I wonder
when my heart shall get sharpened

source:::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::

CLOUDS OF UJJAINI..May.27.10

every one is busy
in the wait of clouds

I have a point in difference

respecting their "wait"

probably wait has got defeated at my heart's persistence
with an exotic feels

Kalidas did excel in pulling this trigger
in forms of clouds of ujjaini-which his fairy figure tried emboldening her love

but what is my love

is that I have dropped the wait for love
contrary to Kalidas great intentions

may be my heart have seen the shallow

is it
my love remained shallow
and wait became worthless

is it
I got materialised
why to wait for a mirage

is it
wait itself becomes the love beyond the incidence of cruelty of love

or
is it
my psychiatric know how has engraved a feel of worthiness bereft of love

I have too much of me

may be
like lichens
I have started absorbing the dew drops from air

the later is plausible

as the medicines have a span of activity
but psychological orientation triggers this span
right at your heart

source:::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOW OF REALITY..May.27.10

I was looking this picture for several minutes
may my thoughts get shape
either realise the beauty of Nature
or
else something too beyond self

"Negative ism"
it strikes every soul around

and probably the Almighty
it serves tough and hard to the clock
make a meaning
for its creatures

its extremely hot and dry around
I have often cursed this type of climate
whilst in my small days
hovering around trees
looking for parrots in the holes of the tree trunks
the "Ban" tree- a close relative of popular tree with roots running from twigs
it was our Bollywood heroine of the time
probably that's why we yarned for the clouds

But I never realised the monotony grow geometrically

In fact you see the tittle picture over and over again
it makes a point a bit simple

weather has its own aroma and romance
the heart rather needs a tuning at the inner most threads

but definitely
who is/will be blessed with this beauty

I don't think
he can realise
the beauty of "Ban" tree
and the pair of parrots in its stem's holes

is it
we're more lucky
in realising this beauty
whilst at a distance

source!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOW OF REALITY.May.26.10 contd

the title picture is what my heart looks like to me and to the Blue
but the twin of reality never see eye to eye
that's the ultimate
learned through the pages of what I happen to be

pen down syndrome
at my hearty heart
every eve
breathlessly

how come reality can take shapes
to tarmac
where I stride me, slow blown steps

with whims and desires
some coming from you

either is not relevant

I reside some where
too scary
to the exteriors

but and ifs

thoughts are better part
to live with

my heart isn't happy

but I do realise
its what
beyond the worthiness quotient
for self
and otherwise

the instincts
you see

it moves
far better than that of light

nonetheless
I remain too earthly

its better
fall from such heights

let it remain
with the haughty hearts

source:::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

SHADOW OF REALITY.May.25.10

every earth mover has a female heart supporting his interiors.

but there are hermaphrodites too
Nature has some hearts
complete in itself

just like
I often say
Love as such
is complete in itself

whether this equation
withers away with the crunch of realities

depends
how far you are close to the almighty

is it
almighty comes to you
through a female heart

probably true

it appears to be funny

but ensure it
sex as a concept has nothing to do with love

Love in actual terms is complete in itself

whether you happen to realise such an exotic love

probably answer is too tough

it takes millions of chances
to coincide
to find your love

Love is a bliss
but it lies on the other end of horizon

and these horizons
may be
it takes a lot and lot
to get it realised

is it love
remains in the airs

probably again
the Ultimate
it decides the outcome
of realisation,
actualisation too

source:::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOW OF REALITY..Contd.May.24.10

my taxing moments
it remind
your heavens

I see
from a distance

I am not accustomed
infringe
your privilege
moments of happenings

on the other end
of the horizon
I wait your coming
to my heart
with reclusion
with your shadows
around my eyes

air tells
better love me
I can send your
warmth
near your heart

beats after flips
I wait for Waite

see you smile
at the greens

I grow my
rose gardens

one day
You may come

I may not
look
wanting

source::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOW OF REALITY..May.24.10

O' I live in a jungle of peoples
with each having its fights and fits
still smiles
may be that's the way
things look better
for all
for once

I search the meanings
bereft of what I happen to have

may be
it looks for one
with a smile
roses and lilies studded

I know
its not there

but why
may be
I am misfit

or
a child of reality starry

every eve
look for a boost

in the shallows
around

the shadows of arms
flung to my arms

is it
I look for the impossible

may be

source!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

COMERCIALISATION OF LOVE..May.22

the recent dragnet at Krishan Nagar Delhi
the love quotient in the title picture
to exploit what is available

its another way of realsing love and self

law is a windstorm
leveling to the ground

making another growth
grasses has instinctive offshoots
to fill the bizarre grounds

ethics has the elnino factor
to keep the ocean warm
have a riding over snowy wizards

but where is sunshine

probably at a heart
in the end less Waite of love

but to the earthly eyes
its to unromantic

time wise its ephemeral
as the adversery forces get too strong

love stands to live
nonetheless
bubbly it may be

that's the ultimate whip
of the ULTIMATE

source!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOW OR REALITY.May.20.10

today in my closet room
my witty and naughty acquaintances were hell bound
to my heart

why the hell you remain single

my smiles ultimate to the shallow

my penultimate replies

You see good hearts are not blessed with good companions

but companion is good in all steads
they smiled back

practically modern psychiatric advances have gone to the extremes
One hardly need a companion
if its not available
in either way

but I did miss you
I know
you are poor at your choice
in putting me in a dustbin

but the things were not that short

thus went the evening

now I am hooked to some old melodies
a rare habit with nonetheless

but I do know
companions are not made earth

reason is simple
its too dusty

and good hearts
they simply lack in dusts of

camouflage
hypnosis of exteriors
existentials too

but love is great
in vacuum
or otherwise

but this love is definitely painful
rather serves negative impact

but soul intervenes
hell with you

where isn't the vacuum

I ponder
at the wisdom

source!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOWS OF REALITY..MAY16.10

u gave a kit of life
hidden hard at your heart
still to know
what's the ideal way of live world around

some time
I see these wild souls
a better lot to us

no one to entice
love inbuilt phenomenon

plants do the same

I do ponder
whether if at all
humans are evolved at all
as generally made us to believe

may be the security factor
or something yet to know

but
blue horizons
vast areas
u alone

what a combination
in comparison

the ever changing
least affiliated stuff around

but
who is at your heart

ask my little pulsating soul

I instead
look as if at all

my soul is pulsating at all

or its me
the reverberating coefficient of life

I ask too much

is that mundanes
the ultimate relevance

source!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LILIES OF RAJPATH..May.15.10

every day I criss cross the soil of happenings
meaning drive fast the time
I do equate some special moments
to that of mine

I know its karambhumi of the seconds
Switzerland for too many
I search these equations
too often
with the grass yet to get dry

I shall encounter
with another happening
invented thoughts
converted ifs and buts

why some places take that much insight
struck to the DNA

so is this beauty

effervescent nerves
with the eyes of Sun

why the heart is made so special
full with interiors of waves

I search Rajpath
with the eves

may be it envies my love to its vibrant hearts

but I find
undefined
infinite

the life of
what the millions yawn

the special hearts

SHADOWS OF REALITY..Contd..May.15.10

its already morning hrs
I am not inclined to sleep
its not that this day is work free

I often get trapped by this instinct

outside its a dry windy storms with dust spells

I am supposed to wait for my cousin
coming on Punjab Mail
by 420hrs he should be here

these are some of the occupations at hand

but my heart is hooked somewhere

its almost finished with your hopes
like a jealous saint who has realised the shallowness of godliness

but a shadow heart with me
like a ghost
it exists somewhere
in plasmatic entity

it creates and destroys
the meanings of my being around

I by default rely upon its wisdom

it has many romantic and hidden peripherals

whenever I am alone
it brings you closer to me
irrespective of reality

says
look!!
there is nothing like reality and non-reality

I do wonder at its wisdom

it doesn't stop too short
and add
physical proximity and hallucinated possessions are only a gradient of the wholesome reality
just like the concept of God

I pause for a moment

whether the equation fits every where

I search my soul
it says yes

but I have lot un - answered queries

my soul intervenes

better not ask any more

I stop short

and ask myself
who u and me are

source::::!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOWS OF REALITY ..Contd

I tried to pen down this picture many times
but deleted
probably my thoughts never visualized you

therefore it remained shallow

I do get advice to realise the god

I search hard whom it refers to

one day a saint said 'DON'T ASK FOR ANYTHING IN GODS PLACE'

I did realise the depth
but find hard to surf

why I shall remain in search of
I hardly love god
is it I love You too in the same vain

probably you should see the picture
over and over again

I feel these are better lover to all the hell around

that may be one reason

I remain obsessed
to find a meaning

I often expressed
the manufactured relevance

source::::::!!!!::::!!!!!!!

SHADOWS OF REALITY

Few hrs of real life crunch and the hostile world around
I was busy negotiating my way of taking the thins in real shapes

the title picture is what I exactly realised at my heart
that's way I am a bit uncomfortable in AC environment

this is a offshoot of such people psyche
who have no love life at the sides

the mirage of love life haunts the way
waves of fits of normalcy studded with up and down streams

probably the reality is too harsh
for a naive heart to make a sense out of the bullshit philosophy of real world

but it has a silver lining too
no one to bother about

while at roadside
you feel a home lit large every every where

I was standing at a desolate evening time Railway terminal of Sirsa
this town has disturbing equations
I hardly recognise to my heart

a pair of sadhus preparing for their night pavement dwelling

I always feel the pinch
irrespective of my material equations

probably the reasons
are:

you deleted one scrap
then waited for
deleted another one

I know your brain

but my love
you shall take another birth
to know the one
that I happen to possess

that's why you're special
that catches my nerves

running on this e-pad
painting the life
in colours

some call it love story
others
"its too eccentric"

source!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SHADOWS OF REALITY

there is hardly few morning eves
when I am not late to office

U shall ask
what the hell U do

Its true I do nonthin
still I am late

I get prepared fast
eat nothin
walk fast
have no day dreams

yesterday I was a bit earlier to my standard time
standing in metro
U were there few millimeters away
standing just touching my soul and body alike

I ignored all the beauty U have

but your freshly shampooed hair
it did catch my still sleepy psyche

I was pondering at the combines
shampoo+hair+your body aura

suddenly I realised
my fascinations has crossed the visible threshold

I did remember
one day U and we were sitting under a Kachnar tree

the fragrance of this beautiful flowering tree
it became that of your

Now when I am still sleepy
I feel the Kachnar frag as its coming from U

I do ponder
Why U delete so many scraps from your Orkut profile
there is nothing that disturbs me neither I visit your profile for any purpose

I simply look for the Kachnar frag

and visualise
as if
U are with me

then how does it matters
if U write your status as married or otherwise

U see my love
U simply can't delete the Kachnar frag
emanating from the horizons
touching my soul and body together

next time
if U feel deleting something
have a thought

Kachnar frag all around
lit large
to the extremes

its 521AM
so good morning my love
have nice day
with your own personal wealth

but nevertheless
I remain obsessed
with my Kachnar fresh

source:!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILLING INSTINCT..May,05.10

Today I was doing many jobs simultaneously while standing at the sarkari tea stall
some of these are
-staring at your room from my window
-sipping the tea slowly
-my desi navy cut
-thinking how to start the drafting of today's priority cases at hand
-hurrying to finish off before I am too late to join the official tea in conference hall with my super brass all put together
-thinking whilst foolish hallucinations don't work
-you shall never be one of the beauties around in your office lawn
-staring the chaps drawing money at ATM at Axis and HDFC banks
-pondering my equations of harsh reality
-planning to negotiate my mundanes and money matters
-try to feel normal inspite of oceanic storms at my psyche
-fighting my defeats of the loneliness
-putting my whole bullshit scientific know how in one go
-observing the playful monkeys
-looking at other end horizons over CP
-negotiating flashes of memories of this place related with happenings
-and the lost war in realising you

my this Stormie behaviour attracted a person who wanted me join a group and learn yoga, vipashna etc with elaborating self sought mind set up and goals too sketchy etc

I suddenly stopped to be polite and government senior officer like behaviorism etc.

now at my pc I was searching which vehicle to purchase either cheverlet beat or maruti ritz

suddenly I realised my lost world

no where to go

I put this picture of yours from my hard disc

as if you can solve all the hell around

with a killing instinct
like that of mine

but my heart whispers

do you have one

I see the horizons
its too dark

to visualise my dreams

source::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONEIROPHOBIA..Contd..3.5.10

today eve hrs wore a slight change of heart
the increased stress makes to learn the negotiating nerves better maneuverable over a scale of your defined moments

I am hooked to movie masala cum singers' delights
tv channels probably a inevitable sin with us
time has to put stay at some loci

I find the parallel scenarios around
this triggers the unpalatable solutions

whilst I see the manual workers busy at their happenings
I hardly find a distance to that of mine
howsoever brainy work I absorbed at

the reality phobic nerves bring an introspection
every second with me

I simply ask
hell with you
lets go for lunch hrs

the deadly moments has never changed

phobic interiors
with mismatch psyche

is that the reality around

probably not

the hidden part
the calculated created world

where ever you happen to survive

manufactured relevance is harsh reality

when such the reality around
why don't we accept

the created quotient of our live world around

experts opines to the same set of reality around
irrespective of your moorings

why can't we accept
the shallow at our hearts

acceptance fetches a solace
hitherto unknown to us

so is the equations
when dealing taxing moments
interactive or otherwise

is that real meaning of happenings
around
its absolutely true

putting green colours to the environs
irrespective of the illusions
throbbing our heart

well!!!!!!!!!!!
that's approaching madness
at all of your faculties

but why don't we accept the truth
if it bring us closer to survival instincts

survival at emotions
that's the motto
of our all social happenings

with or without the approval
of the sane ones

source::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::::::::::

BLACK ROSES.May3,10

its already for work bug to play its game of twisting
me too docile at nerves

sometimes
when you loose a gem
its looks like too stupid
at the times with us

but
the time its ocean of uncertainties
in spite of the know ledges at hand
only one thing remains
that you yourself only

the lonely ways
the De facto of environs

I shall be putting my feet on the grass of Rajpath
another eve of happening

you shall be lost before ever after

I have a silent rebellions

that serve no purpose

fa it
and with or without

fa it
it remains the same

like the legendary Queen

Cleopatra

I know you are unaware of

but I shall take another hr
to explain

when that hr will come

but you might have gone by that
beyond the factor relevance

again
the stupid memories

source!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONEIROPHOBIA..May02.10

the tittle is regarding intense fear of horrible dreams with us during sleep hrs

its a controversial aspect as such

but I am writing beyond that

its something that your live and sleep have similar equations

its difficult to say
but those who have to negotiate
only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches

its like a person suffering from love bite

I generally utter at my private moments with the friends that women as a default simply don't suffer from love bite

reasons are simple
they don't love

well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes facts are hard to breathe

but why the stupid males are prone to such distortions
the query seemingly very simple
its end shores are complicated

probably my whole writing point to this

source!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INFLOURESCENCE..May.2.10

my friends told me unless you the hell around forget chandigarh you simply can't live your life.

I was taking the things too cool

suddenly I realised
for some hearts
whirlpools are all around

and memories
whether construed in what so ever manner

it remains and pains of existence linger large enough

does it mean
its better to have an indifferent heart

I play cool this time also

I was standing at a corner of the park
rains caught me unawared
a temple besides it
I had memories related to hard disc

I suddenly felt
these stupid memories
something is there
that makes your throbbing heart to breathe breathlessly

I play cool again

the reason my inner gives is simple

those who love you have their own constraints
and its also true
they have to go

and the memories they come haunting
forever
to negotiate

I play cool again
get lost
some where in present

and the present
its infinite

like you and me

source:::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::::

DROPLETS...May.01.10

at the moments with me
a few showers
droplets running after each other
striking at the end
surface breathes a relief

but the droplets

it looses its identity

I know you too
may be busy at some
looking it
ignoring the game of love and vaccum

but probably the throbbing heart
it catches the changing waves
around the cosmos
of the way of happenings

I do ask
whilst at work
may be its the only neutral relevance

but neutrality is the way of life

I ask too much of me

and your presence in the hearts of hearts

is that loving someone
that essential

may be
loving is good
for love sake only

but what do you want to imply
my own queries reverberate
with the another showers

I know its momentary

but moments are too good
bereft of definitions

while walking my way to metro
every eve I see around
too much of you lit large
but you instead already at your place

I wonder the equations
with my heart
and the live environs

is that the reality
too good enough

my own voice
it says
yes

I dare not ask
why

source::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::