I wonder at my own making

when I feel driven to the wall
my heart often says
lets go somewhere

where the stingy world is not there
open the sky
fresh air comes
clouds may come


I wonder at my own making

Who the hell can challenge my love and me

when sun takes its shades
I walk steadily and slow
sometimes my steps ask
where we have to go

I keep my calm
I know 
home is an exotic word

I have searched 
frequently at my heart

You are my love

I often ask
why a conformity 
its the buzz word
cutting through
the generation gap

May be
I reply myself
its another way
to put the thumbs
ups and down

I have seen
green grasses
it looks too young

blossom is thy word

asks my heart

Life is not a poem at all but still I am writing for you , may be I can take a little longer time. 

when I retired for the moments with me
I saw the sky
it was dark and crystal clear
snowy lights spread all around
stars did make their presence
I wondered clouds 
have yet to come
may be they have gone 
some where
un noticed
un heard

I was lost
not to define sky 
I saw
may be
I was making a meaning
of the blue

I was tired
some of my own moments
others 
may be I dont know

I saw the sky
it was dark crystal clear

Deepika one day I heard amitabh was saying something , I am putting in English version only : let you not be mowed down by your lonely heart lonely environs let it blossom as if nothing is away from you. I am writing a poem for you it will take a little extra time as I feel I may pen down a very difficult English to make a good meaning . 

whether I studied very advanced biology at Panjab Univ CHD

Deepika extremely sorry to express my mind at this page regarding if I would have been a female and surrounded by present type of scenario and then the scenario of askance of having sex and producing kids : my lord I really dont know whether I studied very advanced biology at Panjab Univ CHD

I dont feel this letter can be understood.

Deepika I often talk of your that snap with me of some sitting on a chair waiting for a taporia director to realise of your worth. I hope by this time you must have understood this. 

Blocking a page serves no purpose

Darlin me only not my pencil

I have been to new delhi purani delhi and shakurbasti sarai rohila nizamudin railways stations quiet a number  of times.

all the times railways and its tracks

some time platforms too

I have searched me too often

Deepika tel your mom Ujjala Padukone and Dad Parkash Padukone I am that unlucky person in whom so ever I invested life time in all possible ways ( I dont mean money here ) they all turned to be Pushpa Minhas Satya Parkash Minhas Kapal Minhas Smiridhi Minhas and her father and mom and what should I say my pencil says leave it bhai Deepika knows everything by now.

you will ask why the case is still pending I will say have you read my article sab eekheithei ho jao aur nangei ho jao

Delhi District Courts - Rohini

Case Status Information System

Case Status :	Pending
Status Of :	HINDU MARRIAGE ACT  273  Of  2010
Litigants :	AJAY AHUJA  Vs.  SUNITA AHUJA
Judge :	Ms. Seema Maini
Last Listed On :	Thursday, January 30, 2014
Next Date of Hearing :	Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Case Updated On :	Thursday, May 08, 2014

Probably I have to pen down what the laws are in exact terms : a government servant simply can not have 2nd female in his life as the moment the first female writes a simple letter to the organisation the government servant looses his job. It implies all kapal minhas and satya parkash minhas pushpa minhas and all their clones around have infinite powers with them provided by the Indian constitution. 

I am extremely fed up in writing letters.

ponder at the volumes of books

my heart says
I have understood
the horrible complexity of laws of the land 

but it opines
dont you feel
your Deepika can solve all

I sometimes see at my heart
and
ponder at the volumes of books
that I have in my service tenure

what reason should I bring

my heart murmurs 
if I can know
what meaning stands for

I really dont know
how to tell 

it says
okay
give me some hint
I dont understand English

I again wonder
whether my heart is poking
at my fate
or telling its own one

but it persists

I say look
a gutter becomes a meaning
and a rose has no meaning

it murmurs
its reasoning I feel

I wonder

what reason should I bring

to make it meaningful 

why I keep quiet

sun takes its shades
every eve
my heart opines 
may be
a day can come
with a meaning 

I see my heart
sometimes
the shading sun

I dont know

why I keep quiet