Saturday, March 26, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.26.,11..12.52 PM

mei ek bar phir bhatkeine kei liyei chal para

apne pyar ki khoj mein

I was promised by some one
that my love is somewhere on earth

but here, I have searched every nanon
may be my infinite powers are simply worthless to realise my love

or may be

my love is un-decipher-ably exotic that it simply wants to test my nerves

but I tel you my love

I will locate you
I have the ultimate powers with me
you do possess my love hidden at your heart

but you do not have my powers
Yes !! I do know love is simply beyond powers


that is my "biggest" infinite strength
the weakness too

souce. Neha .c. Mehta
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Friday, March 25, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 25.4.39 PM

l Hi

Darlin neha I tel you a real time story of this great land to which you and me belong.

This is as follows:-

One day Raja Janak , father of goddess sita, was holding his entire cabinet/rajsai sabha, suddenly a rishi came to attend that gathering.

this man is known as ashtavakra.

Now this man's body was deformed in such a fashion that 8 clearly visible distortions were part of his biological existence.

this made whole of the coveted people gathered over there simply laugh endlessly and with out any sort of respect/constraints/ shame/ inhibitions/pre-conditioned psyche / etc etc.

Now that rishi after waiting for some time in a quest to make the people see sense decided to leave that gathering with a deeply hurt feels but before actually leaving that place he paused for a moment: that moment was caught by Raja Janak , he immediately rushed to welcome that great saint and expressed his deeply regretful feeling and tried to persuade the coveted intellectual to ignore what is happening and should not leave the place ; Janak pleaded believing in his leadership qualities with a firm belief that he has maneuverable cum administrative skills to make the gathering see sense.

Now this man said: Look Raja Janak: where a person is analyzed by his physical appearances that place is not meant for any person who has smallest possible worth.

Now : here !! I see the mirror : My heart says love !!! lets go to a place where Raja Janak and his people are not living, let it be anything ; even the filthiest , dirtiest, most stingy place may be.

have a nice evening !! love !!

I am really proud of you

Do say my love to all our sweet hearts.
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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.25.11.9.54 AM

Hi

yaar mei aaj office nahi ja raha. vaise to koi baat nahi bus mei chahta hu ki merei par jo phds /D.Scs ho rahi hein these must stop immediately . And my environment should understand that I am living my life and let me live like a nice person. I don't want to disturb any system what so ever.

I am just a human being first. that's all.
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Thursday, March 24, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.24.11. 9.29 PM

Neha !!

darlin what has happened with me is simply shamefull to that extent that I feel that it would have been better that I would have taken birth in the form of a plant or say any animal.

yaar !! people want to know me by bullshit movement of an official file.

I pity this world
I myself feel ashamed of this hell around.

bus yaar !!

aaj to mei is se jayada likh nahi sakta vaise bhe is ke bad koi bavkuphi ya pagalpan hei hi nahi is dunia mein

and see they want to know if I am Nanak or Farid or something else
hell it !!
I pity the concept of faith itself.

Neha!! those who have done it, one of them has himself said that he knows psychology

yaar!! if this is psychology

then what a filthiest gutter stands for

I am sad
really I am sad to an extent that my psychiatric medicine has lost its effect on me otherwise by this time I would have felt sleepy etc etc .

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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 24.11

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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.24.11. 5.17 AM

Hi
Neha !!

love is an obsolete word for me

you will ask why so

my reasons are as follows:-

whom so ever I have loved could not stand to the tune of time due to different reasons best known to them except my son Ricky, ( He is suffering from Psychosis: this disease simply makes a person at such a psyche level that the so called physiological gene threshold paradigm simply makes the emotional quotient abnormal). So practically I have gone beyond the need of love as it has become a junk word for me.

but I do love you irrespective of this bullshit relationship word. (yes yaar I and we are sweet hearts to each other including my sweet hearts, kiran, anu, Dr pankaj bansal and Dr.Aastha.) yaar shipra v has simply gone crank owing to her ahankar mind set up ( damn this bullshit publicity- she is in my office complex-she knows me very well - then hell it yaar !! should human beings are that fool : I simply fail to understand.

chalo choro
Yaar mera to' aisa hi syapa hei: sala kabhi khatam ho jaiga kisi eik moment

chalo choro

but yaar don't worry about my health : mei etni jaldi marnei wala nahi : bahuto ko lei dubu ga apne sath.

how r u do write to me : u can use my email address, as by this time, whole of this bullshit world knows every thing : Then why U don't use my email address : I am aware, your Dad is not
atleast bloody intellectual crank. And your mom is just like my anu mom : hell to this bullshit peoples yaar: all are looking to me through this pc like damn fools and crank bastards, I and you know each and every thing yaar.

chalo choro
but Neha I am just ajay for you.
yaar to' jayada bogh na dal apnei dimag par
yaar hamei to hamara hi hosh nai hum kya janei hum kaun hei

with love
do call me but first use my email so that I should identify you because I am not interested in bullshit reading the person (s ): I am fed up with this : nothing else.

good morning and have a nice time at your office
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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.22.,11.8.58 PM

Hi
yaar Neha !!

this bullshit system is making more and more lonely moments for me

Every bullshit is hell bound to prove their respective worth (but yaar mera super boss bahut nice hei, yaar tughei kya batau he is a gem, sachi mei , tu aagei na dili mei to mei tughei us se milwau ga , u will be really impressed= he is simply beyond. but yaar I don't know whom so ever I love why the bullshit world is interfering in my personal matters. He is my super boss and he is my friend too , then its beyond doubt that he comes in my personal life,)

Yaar mujhei to' apna hi hosh nei hei

mei kis ka hosh janu
yaar this bullshit shit environs

tere' se bat karta hu to pata nei logo ke pet mei dard kuan hoti hei

yaar hamari to dosti hei na

in salo ko hamari dosti bhi pasand nai aati
ab bata is mein meira kya kasur hei'
tere se milna to bahut dur raha
salo ko eitni takliph ho rahei hei ki kya batau
yaar hamari dosti to hamara personal matter hei na
yei sale kute hamarei personal jingdi mei bhi tang aranei se baz nei aate

chalo choro yaar

yei to nahei sudheri gei
hum hi sudhar jatei hei

kuch nai : hum parwa hi nahi marei gein en salo ki

ab bhala kisi ko takliph hei to ham kya karei


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Monday, March 21, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 21,11.6.16 AM

When whole of the living environs
it just looked too involved with bullshit dug dugi ka tamasha

I was lost somewhere at your heart

may be you have been sent here
to make me breathe
after every onslaught

yes love your love is infinite
that's a part : only I can know
no body else
may be you yourself too

I feel too vulnerable
at every corner of my existence

and you just come
from the thin air
to catch my hand

for another eventful moments

so are our equations of the hearts

least known to each other
still connected to the infinite

you were probably saying that pc work is taxing
but love! see !! the music of Nature
Now every granule is having an inbuilt pc


still we are least informed of each other (any bastard can not understand this line)

that's our love
as it hardly need a communication link


source : Neha c.Mehta, kiran and anu, Dr. Dimple Bansal, Aastha but no shipra.v (the exclusion of this name is based on the fact that hum pyar ki bheek nahi mangtei, hum yaha kei ke don hei hamarei pas apna banaya hua pyar hi bahut hei-anju.)






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Sunday, March 20, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 20.11.3.47 PM

Hi

you are looking damn sweet here

yeah ! I know the grace is a privilege one

but darlin barking dogs has put my mood v off

chalo choro koi bat nai
kute to sale kute hi hotei hein

yes darlin see the extreme nuances of life
Dogs are really faithful pet
yes even more than the human being

chalo choro
goli maro
philosophy ko

darlin in Delhi its not that easy to have a pet

and for my type chaps : simply not possible

darlin I don't know as of now
pet dog of my nephew at my native place is simply different
it can recognise me like his own
my friend a christian by faith who lives at Gurgaon (Delhi ) once said sir, you are simply mistaken my pet dog is so horrible that it spares none: I said I put you a challenge it will accept me like her own one. One day I visited his place. You won't believe she accepted me as her hubby. Yes its true: I can read animals too.
oh' plants : that is my field love: I simply talk to them and can feel their hearts together: My pines friends at Vijay Chowk , you wont believe they accompany to the extremes. Some times I'm too too not ok . Darlin me myself is a deadliest foe of mine ( my ibid friend some time said so ):

chalo choro
yaar aaj to' beet gya : Now I remember Harivansh Rai Bacchan : he sometime said: jo beet gai so baat gai

chalo choro
tomorrow I will try my favorite tea: I love to have lemon,green tea. I will try at my airforce canteen.
yeah !! armed people are too nice chaps around. I really love them. Yaar every body is ok but their discipline is simply praise able ( I am not talking about their job profile) they are disciplined at heart too.
Yaar I know: if one bad example is there then you can not blame the whole of the forces as such.

chalo choro
I will try some dusting today : Yaar! my maid is a "Aishwaraya Rai" of my this damn hostel. But she is very nice love! She is that lady who keeps me fit to go to my office otherwise I am damn lethargic fool around.

have a nice evening and do tel your sis i love her too much as she is just like you.


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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.20.11,9.36 AM

Neha !!!! this is for you only

I take my moments
and remember too much
written on dotted thoughts

yes love you are horrific beauty
my pen simply fails to pen down your worth

A beauty who can simply rotate the universe
how should I write your worth

but love worth exists in many forms infinite some

yes I know plasma physics will some day shall become a reality

yes love its speed is such that you can exist at infinite points
simultaneously
that's the power of god and that is your worth

have a nice and beautiful holi

but love its not jovial
its my love and your worth in reality

have a nice time


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Saturday, March 19, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 19.,11.8.53PM

Neha !!!! do you know
yes you got it I just heard you

"sari larhaian teen cheese pein hoti hei = chokri, naukari,jamin or say in punjabi its jar joru and jamin" Yes Anu said it to me just a few days back.

but yaar I have nothin to fight

my own fights are bloody hell !!

yes!! again in punjabi= raunda kuan hei shakal hi aeisi hei'

Darlin literally I don't know punjabi I just make a guess to decipher what could be the words: just sometime I can make it some city etc nothin else.
yeh my Dad was fr. Punjab Pakistan : I learned punjabi to speak from my Dad. Mom I don't remember. I am Dad guy only. Dedicated to Dad to the extreme.

have a nice day : this is my love letter to you.
yes love Anu probably said just now : hum yahn kei don hein aur hum sab se pyar kartei hei , yes kute bhonktei rahtei hein aur rahi chalte rahtei hein

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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.19.11. 4.18 PM

Neha!!!!!!!!! my rebellious heart is an infinite plasmatic hot volcano
it wants to burn the psyche of those who hurt it
and it remained with its docile nerves

just to weep on its fait accomplish

but darlin a volcano can definitely weep also

you know its far millionth tough to accept defeat gracefully

every living bio unit is intrinsically made by Nature to win
its true with semi living substances too
here is an example of some virus etc

even such smallest bio units have intrinsic wish to win only

Now tel me

I have accepted the defeat against the infinite powers of the Nature itself

but I do know

A winner has an infinite guilt
that never allows it to live a life

this guilt is a hell
I know it
there is no psychiatric medicine to fight with this guilt
I know very well

A looser can win the game
but a winner can not win its guilt

that is ultimate
the ultra extreme nuances of Nature

which I know

a privileged heart can only know

I am therefore happy to get defeated

else

how should I have learned this infinite some reality

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 19.11

Hi
Neha there is hardly any thing which you don't know

I think you know me more than me myself

but darlin I am a misfit fool around

I tel u a story

when I was in a real time hostel
a road adjoining my hostel
it was named as "thandi sarak"

yes ofcourse you are genius
I know it
you got the meaning

chalo choro
aur sunao kya hal hei tumarah

yaar I am damn annoyed here

bloody publicity around
its damn thing yaar

even my dairy milk wala also looks me
just like a haryanavi bastard looks a beauty/chokri

yes love India is full of fools only
this country is a damn bullshit around

No manners
simply filthy stuff around

yes " larki dekhi nahi, sale kute khanki kei"

but somebody told me bombaites are little different
they do have manners : not to behave like cranks around

but darlin I can not defeat my punjabi people
reason is simple
my super boss is a punjabi
and I respect him
so whom I respect
I can simply go to any extent not to fail my respect

but he is a gem
I often say mazakia words but people can't understand me

I know love !!

chalo choro

aur sunao

yaar aaj kaparei bhi dhonei hein aur kuch safai bhi karni hei

dekhtan hun kya kya kar pata hun

ok love have a nice day

source: naturally neha,c.mehta only but anju too

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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March..19.11.4.11AM

Neha here I am trying to reciprocate your love and warmth which you bestowed upon me tirelessly beyond the sincerity quotient

this is as follows:

god has a realistic existence. But its so neutral that it never interferes in any manner whatsoever around.

religion and spiritualism is the method of cranks around.

reason is as follows:
supposing you choose one filthiest abuse (in hindi its gali )
now you assume it as name of that almighty. I tel you god will come to you one day if you are sincere to abuse Him: He is neutral to that extent.

What we see around (inclusive of the whole universe=82 billion light yrs across) is just a paradigm of mega forces of Nature. God never interferes in the functioning of these mega forces.

now even then any body fails to understand then he/she should consult my respected friend super specialist psychiatrist Dr. Harish Arora, Baba Farid Medical college, Punjab ( this is a message to bullshit scientists around : simply you are damn fool around.)

source: Neha.c.Mehta.Dr.Dimple Bansal, Dr.Aastha, kiran & anu ( here I have not written Shipra .v= reason is simple, any sort of boasting (ahankar) makes you just worthless around.)
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Friday, March 18, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.18,11.9.49 AM

do you know love!
when a fauzi takes leave and goes to his home
he really finds love
at only his wife's bangles
and a female fauzi
shall find her love only in churia
going to market with her hubby

I will tel you an infinite science

the rhythmic voice of his/her love
makes him/her get rejuvenated
to face an array of ultra high voltage wires

I have started this love letter
only because of your bangles

Now see love !!

every hostile force shall taunt that " hum nei churia nahin pa rakhi "
this is horrific science

exactly same thing comes of with absolute contrary connotations

do you feel these bullshit scientists bastards can understand

what "churia" stand for


source : Neha.c.Mehta,kiran&anu,shipra.v,Dr.Dimpal Bansal, Dr.Aastha
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Thursday, March 17, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 17.3.11 ,10.53 PM

probably by this time
you have come to know
the infinite some worth you possess

If you ask me
I will be saying straightforward
I never knew you
til date

I often say I am made for challenges
but I only today came to know
that its not me
but you instead, who made my nerves so dare devil

probably you too shall agree
some hearts are that close
the word of relationship becomes simply obsolete

I shall say its only you who evoked this silent volcano
as shipra vashisht of my office didn't come in my world of fantasy
when you suddenly appeared to awaken me out of my oblivion

you are simply knowing every corner of my room by this time
its too too hostel type

but I do wonder
whether this hostel has been deliberately created by Lord
or its a chance coincidence only

But I don't take a chance in your aura
my office is having too much beauties around

but none could come in my world of horrific reality

shipra is a failed rocket from the very boosting stage

but my sincerity quotient simply obviates the selfish nerves

my concept of love is too too complex
only I know what love stands for

I am not putting my bullshit know how

I am a real real horrific genius
No body on this earth exists that can simply know it far less to match
its simply not possible
I am speaking my heart at a public site
I never intend such open occurrence

but inspite of this ultimate powers with me
I have no body in my world

I know you have a sympathetic nerves to me

But I simply hate conditional love

any how
what you've done for me
its far far more than whole of my worth

reason is simple

I was an infinite spread of sands only

only you have taught me

how to make sand houses

I am happy

at least your this bliss towards me
have never failed me

source is naturally neha c. mehta only
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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..17.3.11..3.24 PM

when I saw you
may be 3.5 yrs back

you remember I was posting my versions of love at your snaps
suddenly You got awakened
what's the hell is going on

your sharp remarks were too stingy to my heart
but I took it too cool

I knew I never intend any reciprocity
its my fait accomplish

Now at this moment
probably your eyes are focused at me
whilst I was focused at my love infinite

and your heart searching the nuances of love

I hardly know myself
who I am

yester evening probably you got online visible
may be you intended to cool my nerves
as I wanted to stir the deprived beauty around

but I do get your heart
it says
who has deprived you my love

when I hardly know of me
how shall I reply to your too intense warmth

I know my office and this bullshit hostel is all visible to you
But love I need no visibility at all

how the equations run too fast
and me
having a plasmatic speed
still too lonely at heart

I do ask myself
is love that infinite some

my soul says love its very true
now my heart
simply thrashes my soul

and me the helpless docile
just wonder
whom to pacify first

and the fights of mine
remain intact

searching a horizon
probably least known to me

how far I will search

I ask myself

source: Neha.c.Mehta, kiran and anu , shipra v, Dr. Dimpal Bansal. Dr. Aastha
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FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.17..1,45.AM

probably if I am not that under my psychiatric medicine effect
I shall imagine you to be too sleepy

my wavelengths might have crossed you too instantaneously

with out flutter of your Himalayan hair
so assiduously put to the grace of your aura

I know by this time you might have crossed your inhibitory quotient
and reality which simply your nerves couldn't come at

I have awakened to the next phase of time

But I remember whilst at Draupati Ghat Allahabad Defence Account office
I was lost in the fragrance of Magnolias
and my colleagues too faithful to my way of being around

but I was too faithful to you
with no inkling of thoughts
at your heart

some of those Magnolians are still with me
its fragrance surrounding my psyche

probably I have kept it jealously

you may ask when you happen to read
why
what's the hell is with you

I may smile at my heart
but I will tel little of it

my this smile may not be visible to me itself

so is the love
it comes in different forms

Today in my official tea get together
my director general was too confused
I could feel his heart
but could not reciprocate

as the army hard rules have no scope of such openness

but I did wonder
when a general can realise me

why you failed at your heart

is that beauty has no brain
may be true

may be beauty is overwhelmed by possessions
of worth

one day when I encountered you
I loved your newly brought: may be a purse

I am not recollecting all

But I did know
"you're failing hard at your nerves
and eyes together"

but I did wish
to purchase something for you

I know wishes have no
black horses

probably time gives a chance to every one
and we miss that very instance
of the worth millionth
gifted by the lord

Now I can say god does exist

else there is no practical proof
at least to the mundanes

but darlin its not your fault

when Nanak (first sikh guru)
could be failed by his own sons

how can I expect
a win at your heart

have a nice morning hrs


source is definitely you only : Its my love letter post facto














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Tuesday, March 15, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.15.11 8.11PM

as the cosmos of brains watch me
I watch
where my love has got lost

is love that exotic
I never knew til date

I Know love is a scientific reality
but my horrific know how

simply failed to know where is my love

I have stopped to hope
but my environs say a tone
that doesn't meet the rhythm of my heart

I do ask my self
whom should I refer to

but what love shall bring to me
is it peace of mind
may be exotic nerves
or
say homeliness

I am a misfit spoilt genius
I know it too too well

whether that love shall have a realistic world with me
or another forms of whims of the Nature

I know
Nature doesn't know the definition of
love and cruelty

is that
my love shall stand that cruelty

But I do ask myself
whether love evokes the strength
or weakness at the nerves

Probably I am not competent enough
to know the nuances of love

My heart asks
its too horrific for me

is Nature that cruel

I say
Yes my dear heart
Nature is even more cruel

my heart gets shivered up
I try to pacify this spoilt chap with me

but its shivers go infinite

I fail to find
whom should I support

me my self
or my love

source: Neha.c.Mehta. Shipra.v
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Monday, March 14, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH ASKED ME WHY YOU DO NOT SMILE..March.14.11.


Ajay Ahuja Neha!!!!!!!!!!I am proud of you and your grace and thoughts as well : otherwise I am surrounded by fools: I asked the bullshit genii to go your school level and learn what Nanak preached: These psychic people simply spied on me throughout this day instead Now how can you expect that Indian beggars can become good voters and how a good government can come to powers. But I really wish you a good luck from the core of my heart.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 13.11 .8.13 PM

Today as the best minds put their whole worth just to waste their time

my time shall remain with you
my logic of keeping relevance
and happening moments
may not be in my hands

I keep the technique of making
sand dunes

One goes with the whims of time
I make another one

I am made for it

is it the game of life
or the love itself

may be both

I remember you
beyond the plasmatic speed
so it simply obviates
the need of your being with and around me

It doesn't mean
I don't fall to monotony lit large

I have to create my own moments
just to keep me intact

for the other eventful day

I shall go my office

you will occupy your seat of work

and do not forget
I am just at your hand's distance

You may not see me

but I can see and feel all

even your heart

source: shipra.v


Friday, March 11, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.11,11.8.26 PM

one fine evening I happened to see a movie Pakiza

for me these bullshit movies are simply useless stuff around

reason is very simple

I simply don't appreciate the hyper created by such things

so is the case of damn novels around
I see no fun in long long stories creating and evoking allusions and exotic nerves around ( here I include all such stuff whether its of hi fi literature etc,)

again the reason is simple too

I have not seen even a single person who really changed himself or herself out of this stuff

If these stupid things can not bring any positive change
I really fail to understand why the stuff and for whom its meant for

One day this beauty encountered me
I litterally could see and feel her nerves

and one fine morning she succumbed to the reality around

then why the bullshit feelings are made hyper/hypo in literature itself

if its made for time pass
then I feel Its far far better to pass time whilst remembering the god in abstract form

but even this bullshit god can not change the decision which this beauty opted and made me to stroll around finding the meaning of love , if it exists at all

At this moment she is preparing her dishes I know it
but why she put lethal bacteria in my dishes
I stopped the evening food itself/ (if she happens to read this article = she should know I literally made me not to accept food at any event of the day.)

But she can not ever realise
the cost which I paid for her decision

this was the question which the senior lady officer asked me
my reply was :

Look madam ( her name is Sunena Bharti ) there is not even a single beauty around who can understand my worth and stand to the tune of the time

she simply said: sir, you are simply under estimating you

I knew at my heart

which she can not know
even if she takes another birth

such are my lonely moments
and me

source: shipra .v

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Thursday, March 10, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..6.19 AM.10.03,11


as the Sun shall come with its cosmic mundanes

I have awakened far ahead

may be my mundanes have simply become obsolete

does it mean I have gone literally beyond time

I will not say anything

reasons are too simple

yesterday evening my lady senior officer asked me
why don't you opt out of isolated world

I did reply her
but that's hidden here

may be I have gone beyond the need of love
does it mean that peoples whom I loved most, have ditched me
and boast of their strength and possession of their worth of love and strength of future

I will again remain silent

does it mean I have evolved literally to live in vacuum
again I will remain silent

does it mean I don't need love itself

probably Now I shall say yes

My heart becomes terribly annoyed

I know it looks always for love

I ask this stupid child with me

I don't accept conditional love

it makes no sense to it

I simply remain calm

my soul whispers

Look my dear heart
" you simply can not understand the plasmatic entity with whom you are associated"

I again remain calm

As I know
my all efforts shall not simply calm my heart

the struggle of existence shall continue

so my fights will never end

does it mean I have concluded to fight til the last bullet and the last final breath

probably the reply is yes only

source: Neha c.Mehta, shipra.v

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Sunday, March 6, 2011

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March 6.11 6.42 PM

as the day has given its place for the dark moments to come

every dark has different effect to the scenario in question

I have allowed myself to get swayed away by your aura only
to get angled
may be to the moments with
to fetch an elixir

sometimes it comes
with the flowers fresh
chosen to the choice

it fails literally
over the other ones

I fail at no moments
its an eternal way
in either of the colours

some times
the dark replaces
colours become invisible

I do know
its their time
and me to hibernate

the other relevance
of your resonated existence
to make me still more worth

I've seen my love
changing its own colours
in a quest to bring
what is too enigmatic to my interiors

the time shall get a pulse
hither to
I pass by
to remember you

the colours
you bestowed upon

I live my moments
with your breath

it may look too unscientific

its doesn't matter

sciences can't bring my love
I know to the last thread

I make your breath
from the thin airs

that's the beauty
of your love

which you never intended

I hardly care
whether you gave your love

or

its me only
to resonate your love

around me and my visions

source: Neha.c.mehta,kiran&anu,Dr.dimpal bansal





my dear psychologists you're damn fool around

Talk Doesn’t Pay, So Psychiatry Turns to Drug Therapy

Richard Perry/The New York Times

“I had to train myself not to get too interested in their problems, and not to get sidetracked trying to be a semi-therapist.” DR. DONALD LEVIN, a psychiatrist whose practice no longer includes talk therapy.

DOYLESTOWN, Pa. — Alone with his psychiatrist, the patient confided that his newborn had serious health problems, his distraught wife was screaming at him and he had started drinking again. With his life and second marriage falling apart, the man said he needed help.

Farewell to the Couch

Articles in this series will examine recent shifts in medical care.

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Share your insights on the changing medical profession with The New York Times and the Public Insight Network from American Public Media.

Tell us your story.

Richard Perry/The New York Times

Dr. Donald Levin

But the psychiatrist, Dr. Donald Levin, stopped him and said: “Hold it. I’m not your therapist. I could adjust your medications, but I don’t think that’s appropriate.”

Like many of the nation’s 48,000 psychiatrists, Dr. Levin, in large part because of changes in how much insurance will pay, no longer provides talk therapy, the form of psychiatry popularized by Sigmund Freud that dominated the profession for decades. Instead, he prescribes medication, usually after a brief consultation with each patient. So Dr. Levin sent the man away with a referral to a less costly therapist and a personal crisis unexplored and unresolved.

Medicine is rapidly changing in the United States from a cottage industry to one dominated by large hospital groups and corporations, but the new efficiencies can be accompanied by a telling loss of intimacy between doctors and patients. And no specialty has suffered this loss more profoundly than psychiatry.

Trained as a traditional psychiatrist at Michael Reese Hospital, a sprawling Chicago medical center that has since closed, Dr. Levin, 68, first established a private practice in 1972, when talk therapy was in its heyday.

Then, like many psychiatrists, he treated 50 to 60 patients in once- or twice-weekly talk-therapy sessions of 45 minutes each. Now, like many of his peers, he treats 1,200 people in mostly 15-minute visits for prescription adjustments that are sometimes months apart. Then, he knew his patients’ inner lives better than he knew his wife’s; now, he often cannot remember their names. Then, his goal was to help his patients become happy and fulfilled; now, it is just to keep them functional.

Dr. Levin has found the transition difficult. He now resists helping patients to manage their lives better. “I had to train myself not to get too interested in their problems,” he said, “and not to get sidetracked trying to be a semi-therapist.”

Brief consultations have become common in psychiatry, said Dr. Steven S. Sharfstein, a former president of the American Psychiatric Association and the president and chief executive of Sheppard Pratt Health System, Maryland’s largest behavioral health system.

“It’s a practice that’s very reminiscent of primary care,” Dr. Sharfstein said. “They check up on people; they pull out the prescription pad; they order tests.”

With thinning hair, a gray beard and rimless glasses, Dr. Levin looks every bit the psychiatrist pictured for decades in New Yorker cartoons. His office, just above Dog Daze Canine Hair Designs in this suburb of Philadelphia, has matching leather chairs, and African masks and a moose head on the wall. But there is no couch or daybed; Dr. Levin has neither the time nor the space for patients to lie down anymore.

On a recent day, a 50-year-old man visited Dr. Levin to get his prescriptions renewed, an encounter that took about 12 minutes.

Two years ago, the man developed rheumatoid arthritis and became severely depressed. His family doctor prescribed an antidepressant, to no effect. He went on medical leave from his job at an insurance company, withdrew to his basement and rarely ventured out.

“I became like a bear hibernating,” he said.

Missing the Intrigue

He looked for a psychiatrist who would provide talk therapy, write prescriptions if needed and accept his insurance. He found none. He settled on Dr. Levin, who persuaded him to get talk therapy from a psychologist and spent months adjusting a mix of medications that now includes different antidepressants and an antipsychotic. The man eventually returned to work and now goes out to movies and friends’ houses.

The man’s recovery has been gratifying for Dr. Levin, but the brevity of his appointments — like those of all of his patients — leaves him unfulfilled.

“I miss the mystery and intrigue of psychotherapy,” he said. “Now I feel like a good Volkswagen mechanic.”

“I’m good at it,” Dr. Levin went on, “but there’s not a lot to master in medications. It’s like ‘2001: A Space Odyssey,’ where you had Hal the supercomputer juxtaposed with the ape with the bone. I feel like I’m the ape with the bone now.”

The switch from talk therapy to medications has swept psychiatric practices and hospitals, leaving many older psychiatrists feeling unhappy and inadequate. A 2005 government survey found that just 11 percent of psychiatrists provided talk therapy to all patients, a share that had been falling for years and has most likely fallen more since. Psychiatric hospitals that once offered patients months of talk therapy now discharge them within days with only pills.