chalo love letter likhnei ka accha bahana hi sahi. Dec.31.2013.18.18

Love
I was writing you of Psychiatry
I remember I told you brains may spend generations together and abc of this science may not be known what to talk of the extreme frontiers or say loose ends or say other ends
I know discovery channel boasts of a motor cells disorders  ridden person thinking through some computing system and they are hell bound to show off that bastard as the ultimate genius on earth

Its nothing new love
Akbar penis was shown to be bloody Linga on earth in very recent times in history and all bastard Muslims are fate huei nirodh ki aulad  , I know nirodh was invented only a few years back.

any how

I have forgotten exactly what I wanted to write to you
chalo love letter likhnei ka accha bahana hi sahi.

hell yaar.Dec.31.2013.10.41

Love
I have requested my hierarchy system to grant me a day off as I am not well today
but love when I was well 
I really dont know

it was in 1995 when smridhi minhas planned to marry me with the help of her family and sunita minhas played her bloody beauty of the queens land of the universe
I remember it was a rented flat in and around DPS Delhi when she said ho gya I wondered at the hell which is going to come but love that hell is not yet complete as sunita minhas has posted her profile face of bloody beauty of queens land of universe on face book and also hie rd bloody brains to fight at some courts

hell yaar

I have yet to know.Dec.31.2013.1.30 AM

when you  are not around
I have awaken to the infallible reality
you could only tell me
love can exist some where

may be at heart
stoic stones too

may be next time 
you come and sit with me

I shall ask these stones
how beautiful you are

you could know
 love


I have yet to know

Being with you.Dec.31.2013. 01.11 AM

Love
probably the expression love has become too monotonous
I was telling you of psychiatry and I did write this science is what brains have yet to know

the shifting sands of self
may be self itself

you may whisper at heart of heart
what actually self stands for

this is what the start of psychiatry but not the end definitely

I feel too instinctive to write something to you

may be its my only relevance
may it be the make shift one

I could have elaborated on sciences
but free distribution of rewaris
you see it becomes a laughing stock

then naturally
there is no other way of 
say moment of 

being with you

Not that she is daughter of Prem but probably she is self made

Love
I was telling of psychiatry
I probably told you our brain files are generally not opened and its very difficult to write software language on such files.
I further told you probably I have a little expertise to write the infinite some persona of Anu Malhotra not that she is daughter of Prem but probably she is self made

its not that Anu Malhotra has some bloody ecclesiastical powers with her or a bloody Deepika Padukone syndrome with her

I remember my finger tips memorable visits to her house

she was too occupied with her exams and the stress factor related to it. She knew some bloody OBC taporia is hell bound to show his prowess of bloody mareech.

I remember she was quiet struggling heart to negotiate the existential world of her own.

she was having a habit of asking or say offering extra roti to me as a token of love or say custom or say fashion. I told her I am not that stuff that needs this custom to be intact and she can relax without any such impulsive acts.

I remember she forgot it . I know its a horrible task to do it.

I was knowing she is an evolved persona and could notice she never forgot that routine can not be undone and glamour vs crunch is a biological or say existential paradigm to be handled or say negotiated with or say to be fought with or say to be at logger heads or say to be part of it may it be successful or something else.

She was ever overwhelming to make a point that I get food and water however she accepts that she is not a biologist and the person whom she is confronting with is a bloody biologist of infinite connotation put on mundane cardinals.

After reaching at Kiran house she herself made a point that parking help be given to me.Dec.25.2013.03.48

Love
I dont think any body is less boast full of his her moorings
well ! I am not referring to the certain percentage of living dead bodies who simply throw frustration for their hell purposes
I was driving etios with anu malhotra sitting on the co driver seat
it was a location some where in outer gurgaon areas
so calm so committed so sophisticated so original so related 
it was a mid night  of I think Dec only
frost and fog so thick car was literally crawling  , I remember I could only see the bonnet and the white line of the road just near the front wheels.

I remember one day I was driving maruti 800 near  UNA, HP area of India, the people called bholi and pinki kids ricky navu and their cousin and sukhdev they were the passengers, I was woefully delayed at UNA resident of these people as the queen of earth Bholi wanted to fulfill her love of devotion to the females and related peoples of Mr Minhas and inlaws some Dr. that too a psychiatrist by profession. The climate was too bad , month was mid Jan with shower s and wet roads. I was struck in the wrong direction and it was drizzling so the glasses became so blind. I simply requested to the queen kindly help me to make a reverse gear. She felt like as if wheat atta will melt with that drops on her majestic body.I was too tired out of the endless wait at the UNA house but somehow then I put my best to reverse it but no body could even spare his her beautiful cosy environs to help a Little . The scene changed and now we were in sector 45-46 area on clean roads of Chandigarh . Now the bloody god of love suddenly descended on the beauty of earth Bholi and she showered her love to tell this is way to go to the bloody sector 43 of ultimate relevance of the universe. As we reached the 43 sector house the temple of the bloody universe all rushed to interiors of bloody Mata vaishnav Devi to have the bloody darshans and what not . I was again left alone to see if some sense was left for me.

Anu was keeping contact with kiran to help me navigate the environs as I hardly knew the contours of the environments. She was furious with them at their lax attitudes and told them go and have you r cell in the toilet so that we can get their reply immediately

I do not know how to express Anu Malhotra and her love and related nerves. After reaching at Kiran house she herself made a point that parking help be given to me.

ANU IS WHAT PROBABLY I MYSELF CAN NOT THINK OF.DEC.25.2013.01.57 AM

Love
I have seen my life pathetically driven by hell factors
Its Anu Malhotra who could tell me what love stands for

I remember her second to second love to me
and its infinite some elixir on me

I was busy to make my mundane papers at sirsa

she is so love able warmth full
my whole hell shaded or say melt in front of her cosy nerves
I remember one taporia was deriling ( a state of mind when a mere presence is objected to with venomous brain set up and a systemic inner heart schemes are developed to eliminate the person it self without giving an inkling to the worth of the person and its possible aftermath in a pathetic over possessed self illusion that what is felt or manipulated shall work under all circumstances what so ever it may be with an insidious planning to achieve the distorted and pathetic self ) at  my presence in registry area of sirsa

but these taporias are all around me

She was so beautifully possessed to thwart such stupid nerves and came upfront with her penetrating sharp nerves to do the assigned profile at that moment

such a trait can only be achieved with love beyond definitions

and love roti to' yaar sarei hi kha lei'tei' hein

I was writing of Psychiatry. Dec.25.2013.01.01 AM

Love
I was writing of Psychiatry
this science I told you is so exhaustive , generations may put their concerted efforts , the end shores may not be known 
self is what I am referring today
you can say its self collective self  unison of self convoluted self misconceived self distorted self pathetic self diseased self burnt out self evolving self emanating self radiating self compulsive self intrinsic self protruding self parasitic self destructive self misinformed self least known self dud self dude self mirror self reflective self resistant self nonproductive self docile self delicate self syndromic self pliable self magnolian self euphorbia royalana self developmental self iron self diamond self fishing self existential self ecclesiastical self cosmic self

Allel dominance self 

Love
the later I have written because you love me . Else I know I can never write such wonders of the sciences.

Today I have nothing much to write about.Dec.24.2013.23.11

Love
Today I have nothing much to write about
A little technical subject I am writing : why we should not do away with the original wild plant species : eg in case of wheat and rice and other crop plants we are making certain genes to get accumulated for its better yields resistance and taste etc.
The un intelligent keep up of this system is likely to deplete the eco system of its reserve genome as such from where the genes can be collected 

the resultant scenario would be certain genome chaos whereby no genome base would be available for further development under un predictable scenarios etc etc

so is the case with GM crops and Chinese methods of cloned kid etc etc

Love
Love as such is an institution in itself , I am only referring to your love to me
( the earth should put their non sense on closed mode )
I generally feel may be your love may prove to be a bullshit my love letters only

I have no relevance left I am very sure of it

I do not know your world can fit in my non sense at all

any how

I was planning to go to anu but I could not contact her in any way
may be this season I am yet to decide when to start to sirsa

I have a little job over there

I know I have nothing that glamorous with me to please anu in any way

may be mid Jan I will be in a little decisive way to be with her

Dais was the Janpath No.10

Love
where anu is struggling her painful days just near to that there used to be a big big kachha road
it was so big darling that dust had to spread with mechanised showers of that period to make a sense to be there
Ramlila grounds was the popular name of those eventful days
I remember the dialect of Ravana " something something ganei vali ko bulaya jayei"


I could gather peoples used to come from far flung areas to an extent they stayed in the city with their rustic vehicles and put a stay for quiet comfortable days

kids used to be very disciplined to put their daris near and around the allotted spaces and dais was the Janpath No.10

your this snap is very good. Dec.22.2013.22.16

Love
Probably I have written at my website entry why the brain fails to understand what to talk of internalization existentialization actualization and the like factors of very higher sides of the sciences and of course Psychiatry is simply that has just written its preface only.

your this snap is very good
Navu has charted her bus and is likely to reach here by midnight

you are welcome

but love Sharukh Khan is very jealous possessor of his entirety to say or you can feel like. Dec.22.2013.16.33

Love
Psychiatry is such a subject 
generations may spend their times put together
abc shall not be there to decipher

and Pandora box of psychiatry 
simply forget

I was posted in CAO A-A 1 (A)
Madam Renu k Raju was my superior boss
Raumi was a pulsating heart 
too beautiful magnetic original down to the earth 

but love Sharukh Khan is very jealous possessor of his entirety to say or you can feel like

At present there stands a majestic R & D office complex
where scientists sit in the heater s to melt their bones
just to realise at their fag end time

but love by that time no body  can help

you will definitely wonder what the hell I want to say.Dec.22.2013.13.58

Love
Probably I am again a zillions time alone '
the reason is psychiatry only

you will wonder I start and get stuck to a point
but love its something too not mundane
as simple things are not understood by our body politic or say the entirety of our existence
you will definitely wonder what the hell I want to say
yes love
its me only who has destroyed my life with my own decisions and the like
I remember one day
the very second day when sunita minhas came to meet me in person and in her personal capacity
I came to know that she is a psychiatric patient
but my word 
you see Anu has been saved zillions of times

I know only your name.Dec.22.2013.09.26 AM

Love
if you track the history of so called achievers
its a bloody saga of merciless halal of goats only

I remember a mathematician yeah only Indian darling
he solved the bloody nine point algorithm or say some bullshit non sense of applied sciences

he fell in love with a bloody gori chamari

yeah beautiful sex organs and what not

he was found in a 60-80 % damaged brain buffer and was begging for roti at a railway platform I think somewhere at Allahabad or Lucknow or something like that only
He was rehabilitated by government help

How many names should I write

I know only your name

I know psychiatry can help such peoples
but love
doctor is not a god

and his limitations are as good as you can feel like

I myself has wet eyes
when I am just to check the entry 
for final go to print to the website.

it s never written. Dec.22.12.2013.08.47 AM

Love
I do not know
I am made for you
you are made for me
I remember
Navy cut used to boast of a verbatim
made for each other
but darling I am not a navy cut of yours
I remember a fiasco of some John abrahim of your environs and some female star of your contemporary world around you , this bastard enjoyed with her and took the pleasure to become a star from a bloody taporia but love life is probably so harsh I feel too pained to pen down

and Psychiatry its such a single word the world starts and ends over itself only what to talk of other sciences.

self analysis is not a virtue either way
one has to manage
with or without

but love what is this management 
probably it s something related with other sciences and its totality of entirety

you may get a little uncomfortable
the way I am using English grammer

but love
grammer of life

it s never written

Anu has misbehaved a hell I know. Dec.21.2013.23.58

Love
I was posted in a office you can say about 13 years back or so
presentation and subjugation is a harsh reality you can feel like

One day I was at Mohali
Its a vibrant Punjab town
very soul crushing experience
A Sikh person father of one of my class mate of Univ time
sunita mihas was offered dry fruits
when I tried to pick one
he literally sidetracked the plate

these bastards boast of what not

You see when I have been to Anu place
Anu has misbehaved a hell I know
but her mom 
I know why she is Prem

Love
Psychiatry is word of a few alphabets
but darling
alphabets can not make one wiser

Psychiatry is not only reading the books. Dec.21.2013.23.02

Love
studies job and research may be too difficult concepts to negotiate
one day I remember Kiran joined her job at gurgaon
she is expected back in India
may be I have yet to know the exact details
I do not know how she plans to be around
if she really gets a job worth her caliber
it all depends

Anu may be fit to the happening life by Feb end I am hopeful
I think she is hopeful to join her job somewhere
I have not discussed much of it
she was having too painful days when I visited her last

I know day to day life is too much of a ground reality come on psychiatric terms

Psychiatry is not only reading the books

its the world in itself.

Till date I am reconciling myself. Dec.21.2013.21.16

Love
In scientific terms writing on snap s is an absolute psychiatric disorder.

Probably there is no escape route too
the mundanes are too harsh to withstand

I remember a day of mine at CAO office where I was working as AO in CAO A-1 (A). I was asked by a senior official to help him to negotiate the harsh realities posed by his junior officer Mr. Bhoumik. he used to come in such an epileptic symptoms which were commonly categorized as the person has been affected by some supernatural effects eg the hawa lago colloquial verbology etc.

I came to know he was leading his life quiet normal but by that time his track  record was too afflicted.

One day when I was studying in 6th standard
I witnessed an old person near my house
he used to collect garbage and store in his room of his joint family
during those days peoples used to love their aged ones
his son used to come home from his small time business and politely gave him bread or say roti of that time
at some time in the month or say so he used to clean his room of his garbage and pile it somewhere in the center point for further lift by the cleaning system of that period
but love psychiatry was not developed at that time to that level I am sure to this extent

I have witnessed another scenario of such colours or say entirety etc
in a house opposite to ours one
A family consisted of a joint system of family as understood during that eventful days
A senior of that house was suffering from alcoholic addiction related disorder
he used to drink in the late evening and come home 
his wife gave him food and the scenario used to shift to another day
he had quite often gone a track off his addiction and created noisy scenario in his house
his brother used to handle whole hell
I saw quite faithfully as psychiatry word was not known at that eventful days

Later on I passed out of my school
went to univ
I became myself a psychiatric person

Till date I am reconciling myself.

Petunia s and Althea s shall definitely smile in Kashyap Hall but their worth shall go waste. Dec.21.2013.17.52

Love
I was busy in mundanes but I have repeatedly written I do not have any ultimate powers worth the name as of now
You see love Psychiatry is a horrific science which is so exhaustive that even specialists or say the innovators and proponents fail to understand its implications what to talk of giving medicines to the patients and looking after the people who have different versions of onslaught of psychiatric aspects not to speak of ailments you can feel like as the advanced psychiatric know how is not meant for bloody USA type peoples or bloody peoples who have a danda of law in their hands or such peoples who are simply government doctors to toe the line of action as prescribed in the bloody medico legal books or say courts as such or say bloody sonia gandhi mind set up etc etc etc I mean to say this science  is only meant for Dr. Harish Arora and Dr. Col Madan and the people who possess the worth of their standard and the like etc etc.

but darling if you simply kick them for your own vested interests then no body can help you

Petunia s and Althea s shall definitely smile in Kashyap Hall but their worth shall go waste

may be some other moments .Dec.21.2013.14.54

Love
I may remind you I do NOT have any ultimate powers with me
the psychiatric diseases I happen to possess or say having a de facto reality with me for the time to come is well known to my known doctors and may be it is on record too some where 
I still remember my drawings of botanical material was very good and probably today I can draw very beautiful pictures of plants when you may happen to be with me and I will be having no maska maro technique with me except to draw some pictures for you or say roam with you in some areas of your choice as my choices have shaded into a pale reality least festive at all

I remember when I used to ferry people to sector 42 Chandigarh like a local fatfatia I used to park my maruti 800 on the vacant thara you can feel like 

Peoples were too impatient to rush to interiors and I was happy to roam around instead 
I remember I fell in love with the store keepers and their shops too 
just roam and have something

Now I see my etios me and this interior of this house

I know kiran used to say love yourself etc

I am planning to visit anu

may be some other moments 

if there is any emotion left to reckon with. Dec.20.2013.06.01 AM

Love
I have not written much at this sort of time I remember
but your this snap is that I have thought to put a love letter to you
I really don't know what you will do at such bullshit paparazzi letters

this is a time
when I used to rush to make toasts for ricky and navu
they were too hard pressed when left all alone to defend for themselves 
the mundane s emotions and harshest all put together

Ricky often used to say Dad every day these snacks
I used to goad him 
It is not possible to make other things

he politely accepted my versions

I used to go down stairs with them
looked for rikshaw
too hurried
sometimes it was not available at all
then I hurriedly used to pick maruti 800 to be in time

generally I used to see rickshaw

observe carefully till such time 
it lost a meaningful visible range

I know Bal  Bharti Public School Rohini Delhi is standing at that place only
where it stood earlier

some time s I see myself

and the words I am writing to you

and see
if there is any emotion left to reckon with  

I have no more ultimate powers with me they have gone with the winds. Dec.19.2013.22.15

Love
I have no more ultimate powers with me they have gone with the winds
now I am just a person of 54 yrs with my personal achieved know how 

its all mundane nothing super natural or metaphysical

I have cached your snap as usual

I have conceded myself a failed genius with my retirement date approaching like I failed in IAS exams
its only me who know the pains

slow poisoning of self with dejection 
and life long humiliation has been a stark reality till this day

I remember my failed worth as if I have received the result only today 

One day I was at Nainetal Khaziar , its called one of the tal of the 7 tals of this mountain ranges

I think its exact name is Bhimtal or something like that
I am talking of 1977
Every n anon spoke of you
and I was lost searching the opiating environs around me and looked sunita minhas instead
It was the month of Jan only
The waters looked too crystalline blue studded with the fragrance which I remember it was love only
I remember where ever you went I searched your path
Later on you were with your friends in Nainetal market 
I purchased a necklace with the pittance from my Dad
I always saw it in your neck
the market was too enigmatic your presence made it scintillating 
and again it was love only I am sure
Some how you agreed to my request to take a cup of coffee in a restaurant nearby
I remember You forgot how to sit in the pitch darkness of the interiors
Later on you were playing your game at a nearby grounds
I was lost at your moments of happenings

I do not know
whether I have written you a love letter
or something else

Man roya ardeia yaad kar kei apni kahni
na koi rah sujhei
bol hoei bemani

It has evolved from Deuteromycetes.Dec.17.2013. 21.58

Love
probably I could never find time to tell the mysteries of plant world and its direct link to earth living bioata you can think like.

Its  a long story and I may not be in a position to write even a small portion of it
I have generally said its the law makers who are the real criminals not criminals as such

Deuteromycetes is a kingdom of plant that tell the infinite shores of evolution of sex and its natural way occurrence
It is incidentally the most dreaded kingdom too for its horrible pathogenic properties and activities . But its the Nature most ever efficient scavengers too

Probably then come the advanced sciences of Bio and Bio related fields of Psychiatry etc
One is Gynecology and Psychology Sociology and the cauldrons of ethics and the like

I told you earth has yet to know its own Charles Darwin and his work . Probably no body has really worked after his work and has simply set aside his work as a bloody anarchy of science.

One is the instinct of mother hood
or you can say child bearing faculty of female

It has evolved from Deuteromycetes

I tell you darling there is not even bloody one scientist on earth who can tell how it is exactly and functional on ground reality.

I mean to say this instinct is a bloody vestigial organ that continued to be functional over the scale of evolution as read on the framework of  ibid faculties or streams of sciences I have referred to

Law make r s should keep the brains with them before bloody rushing to bring horrible laws as it simply destroy the basic purpose of life

but darling its such a wide topic that no body really want to work and rather want to occupy the seats of powers and earn bloody pennies 

I remember I have not eaten that taste of the food after that. Dec.16.2013.22.09

Love
I feel I have not written that hi fi English and the like at your snaps

sometimes I remember kiran snap s and my writing s on it , I wonder is it me really.

probably I do not know whom I love most , is it you, anu or kiran

may be your snap s evoke a lot too different world or so to say the scenario but I am really finding not proper words to express my self in this line.

probably I could have never remembered my Dad in that equation which I wished ; without you

I know you are not my Dad

No body can become my Dad except he himself
whose sweater is with me

you see love
simple words evoke what hi fi find difficult to tell

Any how

During Dad time submersible tube well technology was not available
Initially it was a digg out well with old style iron bucket s and a live stock to pull the pulley and the hub to fetch water outside its called rahat in chaste punjabi
I remember Dad maintained a huge number of live stock , buffaloes cows and the like. Buffalo w was a prized possession. Dad himself milch ed the animal farm you can feel like. He devised his own methods to look after such assets , He used to send Desi ghee to practically to all his near and dear ones. I have yet to know his nerves of affection and warmth. I was often surprised by the love his live stock gave to him or say offered to him you can feel like. He used to have some friends in dogs but not pet dogs as per modern terms of the meaning. He was too comfortable to first give some of the loafs to them while having his food.

One such eventful day. 
I remember it was summer days may be June only. I was a kid of say 3 yrs or so. Mom made vegetable of brinjal by roasting it in tan door then crushing by hand and then mixing it on fire with onion and ghee etc its called bharta in chaste punjabi. Mom made roti at her tandoor which was fired by the charia , I think I told you this word earlier too, Dad put three to four cots big ones in the angan after showering the sand with water. It was a full moon day. Moonlight looked as if modern Taj Mahal of love you can feel like. Then he asked me to bring some ice which was nicely kept in the husk drawn from his farm produce. I was told how to break it with a hand iron piece or you can feel like a poker of old vintage. I picked two pieces and went to Dad and offered my pittance he politely took it and washed it slightly with the water from the jug already kept by mom, Then he made a little small pieces to pour it in another big container that consisted of lassi the pakki one which is made from milk and sugar you can feel like. 

I remember I have not eaten that taste of the food after that.

Pakiza happened to a hit movie of those days.Dec.16.2013.20.54

Love
this letter is something to converse with you 
today in metro I was thinking why you do not feel impulsive to talk to me
its some thing too enigmatic
I have been told by many females are hardly exuberant with their own males
while they are all maska maro business with other males of different strata
I remember Dr. Manmohan Singh speech to the august gathering of IAS officers in Vigyan Bhawan
so is the speech of Atal Behari Vajpaei when he utters in poetic way Hindu kehlanei mei laz aati hei apni ma ko pahchanei mei lazza kis bat ki some thing like that
if one's mother is a prostitute its not a sin darling

Any how

whilst at my school days we used to go by say typical method of care free dudes 
Pakiza happened to a hit movie of those days
I have not seen it, may be I know it by a reflected memory of some one else

we used to stay at the sweet shop at around quarter to nine when the song "chaltei chalei...." was regularly played at full pitch you can feel like
Later on I was told the crushing reality of this bloody phenomenon
stage performance is something horribly psychiatric disorder
this stage can be of any order or type or connotation

I was told she , I mean to say the lead heroine, lived a pathetic fag end life. She literally begged for roti from her relatives with whom she stayed but they refused to understand that she is a human being

my heart this time squeezes like a wild rabbit. Dec.16.2013.02.02

Love
when I go to village
I negotiate a fresh complex scenario every time
you may not get any sense of this mundane non sense

its not your movie masala that can tell you the ground realities

I generally take medicine of different kinds
these are prescription drugs

you see laws are bloody non sense
it will take a whole hell to understand this simple English

peoples of similar or same equations who oblige you
they become the draconian pathetic ones
at the stroke of the time

or say major goels

some time I do wonder
isn't a huge risk involved to go to village
at such a petty issues

what will happen
at a major disaster

Will Deepika Padukone shall come running to help you

my heart this time squeezes like a wild rabbit