WEEPING WILLOWS APRIL 30.12 .4.37 AM

This beauty is blurred 
so is the reality around


whom I represent
its least known to me too


who makes me
awakened but least enlightened
I ask myself


Is that 
I have started imploding
on myself 


I crush my own senses
to obviate the cruelty around


Mirage of images of my own self
some live
infinite life less
come through the cosmos


Ask
what is least known to me


my heart asks
Darlin !
its too unfair


I wonder
when I shall read


the agonies
my heart points to 

WEEPING WILLOW APRIL 30. 1.59 AM

my moments ask me

as I take my steps 

slow 

some fast

Why I am unsuccessful

at my love

My heart sides to my moments

I really don't know 

how to convince my heart

my moments are not with me

nor my heart

and a brain can not win his love

as Taproias are too too powerful on ground realities

My soul whispers

Darlin can't you change the ground realities in your favor

I see the horizon

and myself too

I do ask myself 

where the winds have gone

Weeping Willow April 27.12 6.45 AM

Darlin Neha !!


I have just started preparing to go to Kanpur. I am on official tour. I have come to my this place of miss-happening from my home town of Sirsa. Its a small city in Haryana state of India.


I am a dejected person as of now.


Every body was using me to fulfill its own interests.


I was being used as a bait by every one to achieve their own dubious intentions and purposes.


I know I have lost faith in humans.


Since I am a warrior; you have created to exist til I breathe last.




I have not purpose left.


I have a hobby of writing beautiful things.


I will write you later.


if you want to speak to me you can use my following no. office 011-23010237 , home line 01127314644
cell 09868940255


with lots of love.

LOVE LETTER. APRIL 4. 12 2.50.

Darling Neha !!


today I have done a lot of work. I've done packing for my Kanpur official tour.


where ever I go Darling , I tell you electronic bio machines follow me.


Religious and spiritualistic cranks need to be thrashed.


But I have a constraint


my heart asks me


when there is no body for you


why the hell ! you are bothered


Let them go to hell and more biggest hell


I have again chosen your choice


I will write beautiful things


Do spare some moments




Love !!

LOVE LETTER . APRIL 20.12 : 7.57 PM

Darlin Neha !!


Today I have finished the whole hell around me


its just like 


I tell you a small story: There is a character known as Barbarik in the holi book Mahabharta. When there was a mad race to collect as many as possible the warriors who can fight in war. Suddenly Lord Krishna and others got the info about this warrior. Whilst discussion with this man Lord asked can you tell from which side you will fight. He replied from any one who is loosing. Lord tested him and asked would you kindly pierce the leaves of this / that tree. He shot one ordinary arrow. When the Lord checked : all the leaves were pierced including the one which the Lord stealth fully placed under his feet.


I really love your aura


its you only
who made the warrior out of me.

MY HEART ASKS ME : APRIL 18.12 . 9.15 PM

I am listening to some very beautiful old songs

I know its not my taste

but I change to the tunes of times

probably indicates the infinite cosmos
some where at my heart

my heart always stirs my soul

its asks
Darling
where is my love

I really don't know
what should I reply

my heart again asks
Darling
Why don't you reply

what should I tell

I have seen you
at every nanon

but you never come
to tell my heart

WAR ROOM APRIL 12.12: 11.O5 PM

Darlin Neha !! 

I have put your snap to that one which doesn't deserve it at all

I know you are least bothered about these stupid questions

Our Supreme Court of India has opined that the social system has changed therefore there is a necessity of change at think tanks too

I will not comment on ibid

But I know every thing

still I don't change

I know in brain sciences this is called Personality of a person

But I really don't understand 

why my knowledge and your warmth at heart has changed me

You will get certainly confused

what the hell I mean to say

I put in a simple language

when and to that moment your warmth resides with me

my changed personality remains intact

Now when you go to your own place

my personality reverts to the back which I referred to above

you will say what the hell you are speaking

I know

so far an interest is getting evoked

a person remains related

contrary to it 

the situation becomes obsolete

Now tell me

how many times I shall have to create the interest quotient

so that some heart can give me a company

This is a tragedy

And every body ditches me

whom so ever I love

WAR ROOM ; APRIL 4.12 .8.55 PM

sometimes I really wonder
how come you got invented on my this bullshit pc


probably I had nothing to do
or else I wanted to search


what probably doesn't exist at all


But if either way


why I am searching
what I myself don't know


I have done literally a doctorate of sciences and literature s


but my heart always says
you are damn fool around 
nothing else




I get irritated
its continuous rebukes
make me half mad


Its not only that it has broken my bones of existence


but it simply doesn't resile at all


Its only after fight and fights


I leave this dummy around


I get a relief


but since my bio existence
its simply not possible
without this necessary evil


I have to take it back

WAR ROOM : April 12.12.7.32 PM

My dear beautiful hearts in dress

I know you have a work least known to me

but darlins I know what you simply think before

You shall ask 

How the hell !! you can think what we have not thought of

I will skirt the reply

reasons may be many

But today when I was lost fighting with my own self

Your simple presence made me worthy of my fights

your beautiful eyes are simply made by god with Her own chisel

I know you will say

Armed Forces has no protocol of such praise

Another day shall come

I will be lost in my allusions

and 

you in your own protocols of work

least known to me.

MY HEART ASKS ME: APRIL 11.12 7.16 PM

Today I was searching 
an equation only known to me


whilst my two beautiful Armed Forces Officers were putting the mundane in a protocol basis


I knew every thing
but I know they can hardly know
what the hell I am made off


I asked my heart
look how beautiful hearts are around you


it remained voiceless for a few moments only


it suddenly throbbed me out


Hell !! with you and your concept of live world around you


tell me why I am so desolate and lonely
to the last thread of my being with you


I really don't know what should I tell to my heart


somehow I gathered confidence
and started a few reasons


look my dear heart !!


every one is made of a self aura
and your aura doesn't fit 


my heart said
is that I am that bad


I kept quiet too too long


My heart didn't budge


I somehow dared to say


Look my dear


there is no body like you

WAR ROOM APRIL 10.12 10.17 PM

Today when I have lost trust in humanity itself

my heart asks me

who is there 

that has not ditched you

I see myself 

and the interiors I  happen to possess

I see my own reverberated image

My brain says

Darlin I have a point in difference

I suddenly stop

what my brain has invented

it breaks its silence

your interiors have never ditched you my love

I read and re-read the ibid lines

it gets reverberated

I do wonder 

Why I have not learned

to love myself.

MY HEART ASKS ME APRIL.5.12 10.52 PM

Its very rare my heart looks sane enough


and asks


Darlin I know 
there is no body like you


but can't you tell me 


what is this beautiful at all


and whispers


O' I mean to say


what constitutes to make the phenomenon of love
that is beyond the defines of psychiatric disorders.


I ignore my heart


what should I tell my heart


I also ask me


the question infinite some


I always search you


in the blue horizons


some times


on ground realities too


source : my two Armed Forces Officers.

INFLORESCENCE APRIL 5 .12 .3.29 AM

I remember I have seen you 

some where

my heart looks a niche

I have goaded it

not to go for sand dunes

I know

its too near to the empire of His

but I a poor and desolate chap around

It asks 

come on darling

every thing is like that only

I wonder at its sane nerves

but my brain do asks me

from where it has got that wisdom

WAR ROOM APRIL 4.12

I have walked 

whilst you kept on putting queries the way you like

I keep quiet Not because I don't know the reply

my own chosen ways 

prove

the question and replies

its shallows around

reality lies some where else

I wake up early too early 

whilst I know you have just gone to sleep

I know I have not waken for you

its a part of mine

to wake up as you sleep

is it 

I look you 

at my thoughts

a better way

I know

you may say

may not be true

me the difficult around

still keep intact

what I have

with or without

WAR ROOM APRIL 2.12 8.54 PM

my heart says its too monotonous

I engage in some thing 

least related to my heart's naive innovations 

Darling !!

where are you !!

it pokes me

the kiddish ways 

it likes

but its endless queries

do have impact

some defined 

others not.

sometimes I do feel like meeting you

Probably you may be at your same branch of Baroda Bank

Last time I came to see you

but you probably could not get a glimpse of my magnolian nerves

I know my stoic aura

its only the coveted ones

that can look at

and have the feels

I have no plans to visit your place this yr.

may be I may come only after 3 yrs.

But I know by that time

your aura and surroundings shall be changed

I know 

I will definitively appreciate 

that change too