I keep my calm.

places
monotonous time
it often haunts

some moments
I got with you

freezed desires
often

I find
a little

time
it often grudge

those were

how far

I keep
my calm

where are you.

when sun shall
you may come

retired I feel

timeless equation
it traverses

harsh are
what shall
I say

moments
are asking

where are you

its a sceince

time spares none
its an old
evergreen

rivers are flooded

waters is scarce

love is exotic

may it be
a silver spoon

I have written

hearts
need brain

internalization

its a science.

result will be vacumous nothingness.

Love there is a bio physio equation in our existence which works on a physiological threshold concept. Time triggered factor s have only activity rational that simply peters out after that and it becomes kagaz kei phool dirty enough to be thrown out. I am exposed to infinite hatred on many corners and probably you are constrained of your own world as is understood by your kagaz kei phool. result will be vacuumous nothingness. 

equation of power

Love I feel you are in Dubai at present.Peoples are so stupid they got my connection disconnected. Sometimes I feel when you will with me life may be normal of these crank rather these cranks then will make a beeline in this house to see a beauty of earth and that richest person of India. You these crank only understand the equation of power. 

bidi in hand.

Love our return journey to  place of stay in Hotel Hill Top commenced at 16.15 Hrs. We boarded the larger boats with the help small boats as the former were ankered in deep waters. Tourist boy told us of the wealth of the ocean around and informed that Red Skin Island was on the west side of the horizon which is made accessible to visitor in May to Nov. I noticed our sailing boat started toward west  as the surrounding islands looked moving on the horizon. It felt like as if some big movie is being enacted live with the number of heroes and heroine being very large.  It took 45 minutes to reach the langer side of Mahatama Gandhi National Park. Every body was full of joy in its own way. I was walking slow on the wooden path just a few steps before we actually left the scene for our buses. Our buses started after 15 minutes. Silence prevailed the scene till we reached our hotel at 7.30 PM. Every body quickly retired to the rooms. I was standing outside the lobby with my bidi in hand.  

I will continue

Love my love letters have made many peoples mentally crank and sadistic lots around which I never intended infact my prowess at writing has not been handled constructively by majority of the people many of them are known to me on ground reality. The resultant disastrous eventualities are more than a cyclone or earth quake as many lives have been literally destroyed of my writing. Any how I was telling you of my voyage at Jolly Boy. 

very good morning

I have never been comfortable with what generally girls call it love or guys call it love say relationship. I have always seen in this bhrahamjal is bloody endless monotonous trap. I hardly enjoy songs to that extant and the bloody laundia who make guys sick for what gains  not is now a days called what pious durga mata not. any how very good morning. 

When I drive.

when I drive past
heart sleeping
some of its
some forbidden

I take a
how could me

air filled
romance of
air with dust
brings magnolias

when I drive

comes off

facade of
speaking on rhyme
dots say
may be

facade come off
trails of
witnessing
hidden mirage

facade
comes off

as well.

Love I am a person who has been woefully deceived by persons names pictures personnel persona and the like so I am not impressed by an internal or external stimuli to pen down. May be I am not impressed by you itself as well. 

keep calm.

days are
few and far
when you say
here I have come

verbatim of
known
unknown
flicker upon
one by one

I speak to
what shall

it says
keep calm

It says.

my paths
worn of thorns
that are rich
of hatred
envy
deceit
that strong
it pierces my heart
body
leaves nothing
in pain

sobering my nerves

I put my best

have a recluse

even that is stopped

by the deceit
gates of

I try
let it open

close is route

it says.

a lot.

 when the environs have
much to say about

my heart speaks little

little
that I can have
a pulse at

chilly winds remind
something

may be
it speaks at heart

I ask a lot

is it

it chooses
not say

I ask
a lot

at heart.

drops of ice crystals
mornings are fresh
chills of the days

beginnings put askance
to start ups

I have wondered
verbatim of Nature

it comes
with it wealth

search equations
match
speed s of times

I search

sometime
hard
at heart.

as if her hubby.

It has been years together when I put on my radio a hi fi set purchased for Rs 8K from karol bagh. It has all features of videos cassettes player disc or cd player quasi contemptible to a small tv screen / tv set. My lonely days are so stark that its something that only I can know. Today I have put it on once again. It was partially immobilized owing to dust of such a long periods of yrs together. At present carol songs are being aired. I remember once I was staying with a friend at Gurgaon for whole Christmas week. Chilly times of that eventful inning are still fresh. When you will come I will go with you to meet my friend. I dont know whether he has that pet dog with him now days that used to welcome me like as if her hubby.  

I can say.

I am sad
retired
torn to pieces
shriveled up

my heart
tells
I hardly have
scope

vocabulary of
defeatist

what else
I can say. 

at your heart.

Love probably I told you writing a poem is not an easy task or say happening around. It takes millions of factors to be steered at and another equal undefined arrays of life to be threaded at. I am making another such hope ful event for you may you some day get nerves to come :

when I serf
hard
soft is the way

sky asks me
I find
a little

I leave the sky
may be
it too haughty

I search
may be
not known

I search again

to find

what lies

at your heart 

I ask daffodils.

In my school
I read of William Wordsworth
his daffodils

may it s smiling
some where
horizon if beautiful

it suddenly asks
what went

I take a flash back
was it really

may be
snakes
scorpions
it were in infancy

may be
someone
took a shield

is it shield
lost with winds

I ask daffodils  

where I can

you see love poems are written for a kaleidoscopic perfectionist life. Its primarily where section of persons are not equipped to read and understand the oceanic wealth and they tend pollute further such an infinite serene creations and related ones.


when evening comes
I have dust dusk dawn

of the yore
present

fragrance comes
it spreads
what it could have

storms of vacuum
it fails little

time has
what
it can't tell

sometime
I make
sense

mostly
I remain

ghosts
of thoughts
oblivion

some written

other not

stare at
where I can 

what I can't

cobwebs of memory lanes
threads speaking
to themselves

it s lost world
may be
past in stoic

I see dhalias
at their blossom

is blossom
may be a heart
nerves of

I recluse

may be
dhalias at heart

tell
what I can't

sea saw.

sea saw
I have stood
at my heart

I touch it
sometimes ask

what brings you
so close

may you not be

cruel
harsh
crunch

it reverberates

sea saw

yes Deepika probably its you who makes me write such infinite some poems.

what

crystals of time

showers it makes

have a touch

it asks

I stand 

shadows long and large

I ignore

magnato sphere 

it runs past

as I stick to 

slowly 

fast

close 

I find

may be

its

what 

probably no where.

I was walking
step in step
evening light lit
raisena hills
it may spell different

different I saw
Dahlia blossomed
lanes of time

it asked me
when this time
came with showers
threaded on threads

I saw
sometime the flowers
waited my heart

can have
a meaning

that stands

probably no where

with you.

when sky
has to turn blue
I have got up
say you
good morning

colours may say
I have lots to
make
shape
size
may be
know

when time shall

I will speak

my heart
may you
sky
with you

A good lot.

When thorns
adore
what its wishful

I ponder
flowers
are beautiful

stink often reminds me
the hidden rotting

I hide
may be

thorn s
a good lot

I can see.

I have asked
clouds
far end
horizons
speak

quest of mine

something comes
notes by widths

I put my palms

see

is it
I can see

if it fits.

when I leave for
some moments
beast of burden

hazy path
lost relevance
reference
kneels of

bushes
frowning
as if
it could have

success story
I hear by heart

wonder
at heart

if
it fits

You somehow failed to come to me.

I was telling you of our voyage of Jolly Boy. Our team was busy in selective ways. Some were having encounter with snorkeling other s just enjoyed the soft beach and its docile waives. One day its a flash back I was standing at railway station of a sleepy town of sirsa. I noticed the serene environs of place where people come to feel their coming and past day as well. I have been here for a number of contradictory occasions. But every occasion got fit into and became a soothing past of an array of life since crank Harish Arora and his friend some how did not come in the picture as the hell were involved elsewhere. But voyage at Jolly Boy could not become bereft of the bleeping. I had to withdraw from snorkeling because the man assisting me was having order from these snakes. I spent my rest of one hr on the sands just enjoying the beach waters I remember you somehow failed to come to me. 

Lets go somewhere else.

my heart
tossing nerves of vacuity
it faces
truant waves tell
horizons of constraints
stupid chemistry
dances nude
my heart says
lets go somewhere
else

defined
may it not be

I ask
lets not indulge

my heart
says
lets go somewhere
else.

I long for.

I have asked
sometimes
my own moments
interiors of
tipsy twirly
I stand
bereft of
what I hope

die hard
steps of mine
ask
is it

I asks
shades
one after another

may a voice
say
I long for 

I may intend.

lows
highs
I spell something
it comes
its own ways

tell a different
story
tale after
another

I ask
sometimes
again
over

its says

I see my
spread
of

threads
I imagine

vacuum of
haunts

stares
at other

I keep
quiet may

fetch

I may

intend

This time may not come again.

Love I was telling you of our voyage at Jolly Boy. We were left on the shore by the small sight seeing boat. All of us were walking on the sands of the small island. After a while we went to an area where thick forest grew smart and beautiful. Man grooves of different ages escorted the sands like their best friend and enemy as well. We changed our dresses fit for swimming or say just surfing in the waves of the ocean. Jolly Boy is unique in its beauty as its surrounded by ocean water from all sides but when we stood glancing the ocean only three sides are visible as part of ocean. Fourth one the one at our back was surrounded by thick forest cover. I was standing in knee deep ocean water and waves were rather slow and smart as it loved and touched my body it just said where are you. I failed to reply it probably I did not know how to reply the abstract question of Nature. One of our boat co passenger  a chief conservator at profession was busy at his helms with his wife. He narrated the beauty of the environs and added he came earlier with his official team and realizing the depth of time he made up his mind to come once again with his family. I saw his two daughters hurriedly make best of their time at snorkeling. It was half an hr company with the family that was scintillating fresh and w armful and I observed the width of his wife remarks dont wait for any body this time may not come again.  

I take hard.

night of shades
walks its steps
slowly
fast
rhyme after
another

askance
I put
on hold

some moments
can I

palms free
some laden

I dont
say
neither
ask

ways of
what I

feel

turbulence
of
what it

can say of
I take hard

Blessed with.

Love its nice very good looking just absorbingly beautiful scintillating sizzling hot. No I am not praising I am referring your ear laces. I was telling you a happening or say encounter with romance and I just wrote we were reaching Jolly Boy. There was a tier system of guides negotiating different arena of the journey or rather voyage.We were told that main boat can not go on the shore as water depth requisite for a big boat was lacking near the shore of Jolly Boy. We were asked to make batches of 8 persons that was the capacity of small boats.The driver cum guide helped us to sit in one such boat. We were told that boats further have constraints of groups as one group can land on the island at one time. Here was the catch. I feel you will come to know later on. You see Indian Parliament is put on hold but no body says what is the catch. Our boat the smaller one started its sail after a few minutes of every body getting firm at his her own seat some were with zooming cameras. The guide come sailor having hand at his small gasoline oil driven engine was enthusiastic zealously guarding his secrets of navigation and trade helped us to understand the depth of the ocean. The sailing boat was having its bottom fitted with transparent glass that helped us to see the bottom of the ocean. The man knew all technical names of plants and fauna. He was well versed with biology and its ramification as applicable to the ecosystem of Jolly Boy. He showed marine bio life so extensively as if we were living with the animals/ marine life just to touching their bodies and activities. It was an encounter with the romance of Nature that lasted one and half hr. Some of the events I am pen downing as it was probably mind stirring. Have you ever wondered the pearls you must have worn at some special occasions and the ones those who are waiting you in the hope that one day you will come and they can feel your heart, how actually they come in real life of wondrous world of love romance own ness and lets not pen down the sagacious moments as these are special very special to the one who happens to be blessed with. 

LOVE NEVER ENDED.

I am compelled to pick my pencil even to clean bloody toilets of others. I was studying in RSD High School sirsa during the period 1966-1971. I am putting a paint that one colourful another pitched dark. I was having many friends with me. It was a worth reckoning period of my life. There was a friend turned foe whose father was running a cycle showroom. One nice day he started bullying me. Gey is nothing new in this world. I dont know how he found a gey in me. He started the name of one person called Jagdish whose father was a math teacher in our school and I went to his place for tuition as he charged only 50 rupees and it was within my pocket reach. Later on I got to know that this crank was triggered by a student of bhishamberdyal another math teacher. It was horrific and I seriously dont know whether there is any difference between that foe and baghla family. Time never stopped I encountered another friend in Ramesh. I always kept a distance as it a bad taste of now. But this man a bloody tokra of Love went after me just to find my skin. AND HIS BLOODY LOVE NEVER ENDED. Probably colourful is more painful that is why I am taking time to paint that. 

yet to know.

I have spread ed my arms
sometimes
quiet ways
often pitched
hard
fast
slow and calm

where I am
what for

eyes lost
other end
horizons
speak
knots of thee

I  ask
verbatim
of what

may be

I have
yet to know

we were approaching jolly boy.

Love I am painting of what is actually more than a paint, Our itinerary at Wandoor can be depicted that romantic affair that is possible only in some legendary books only. I may take extra time to finish this love letter so you can relax at your work. Love I am fed up with my so called family persons and so called related co related laws family members it appears they have gone defunct with crank brains and hearts. Sometime I do ponder whether if there is something at which I can recluse upon and find probably my love letters are that important to me which I my self never knew of this vacuum thus created. Love is where love resides. You will probably wonder at my phrase. My letters may tell you a way of the theorem which I have happened to write here. I was telling you of Wandoor, as the name suggests its romance lit large everywhere. But Dr Harish Arora finds that his psychiatry is supreme and love is bloody somewhere in a female running after a male or say vice verse. You see pathogens have high degree of evolution. I was concertedly focused at day eventful happenings. I remember every one of us put his her best to get wated bottles issued against some security at the entrance point of Mahatama Gandhi  National Park. The chartered boats having capacity of some 100 persons in a double deck seating pattern were put on hold till all could be accommodated with comfort. We started with an enthusiasm at every face literally visible at their eyes.  Engine  driven boats started their voyage as one comes to a place chalked out to be called heaven and its belongings. You see Love you have not seen the collection that is meant for you I only realised at this moment how important that instinct was to collect for you as the story was being enacted somewhere else. The boats were moving on green waters of ocean and islands which were  many in number looked smart along with its pathway. They felt like smiling and waving their life with us.Plantation of Islands is unique to their place of being around and its depicts the evolution ladder of the ecosphere. Ocean was only known to us on time scale otherwise it looked like a big lake studded with land pieces spread on the horizon. You see love if you ask any body what is India and Indian system, they might say that is the map this is India but what about Indian system to say about. Think over and let the peoples also ponder what I mean to say as the story is very long. I was standing in front of our Hotel, Hill top and all of us were rushing to get prepared for the day. Suddenly my room was being frenetically  searched and calls were made on my cell while otherwise no body knows if I am living at all. Have you ever wondered who are these peoples and what for they are doing all fuss about. They dont bother if I eat something or say if I have medicine with me then what for they were doing all this lambei Haath drama involving the very big peoples too in my vicinity. Yes hum kamarei mei band ho aur chabi kho jayei. I was talking of system Now think about what we Indian are doing. Get married produce kids and let Mr Modi to solve their problems. Its an irony that Dr Baghla and Dr Harish Arora simply made the system rotten where I have mundane activities or say to breathe about. You see love even political opponents do not succumb to that low what they have done. If a sane heart asks them is it possible that RC minhas can live a life with pushpa minhas the reply is simple NO. But why I am citing their name because RC minhas is bloody shit it does not die at all. I was talking to you of a heaven. It took about 20 minutes when we could see the oceanic beauty lit large everywhere we saw. Our team mates were capturing the moments in their cameras which I some how could not do so. I asked you to come here, had it been done you could have reminded me of purchasing such device for making this heaven live at click of mouse or touch button.Sometimes lost chances make another infinite ways of its entirety. I have happened to write extreme sciences here that I will elaborate some time later on. Our voyage slowly and slowly was reaching its point of destination. Some of islands were at far end of our sight while other had become so near as they were asking hei guys welcome to our lands of wonders. WE WERE APPROACHING JOLLY BOY. 

fag end.

Our sojourn at Singapore was different in many ways. It being the fag end of the journey team members were more enthusiastic to visit their families back at home. It was an eventful day long colourful happening. I am pen downing only one flash. I was taking snaps of all sides at the sea shore where some world center is located. I remember my camera got fixed at Lion statue oozing out water jet from its mouth. When ricky came here I got to know again of depth of Psychiatry and was sad why time takes so issues so bad. Rest is hi fi science I cant write here. 

Dr Harish Arora its time .

Dr Harish Arora when I know a global live camera is fitted on my this page as well which is bloody my personal property under all rules how the hell I dont know your nefarious acts. 

what for.

I am rewriting the hell of one sequence to tell you of persons and will leave the subject for you to understand as Dr Harish Arora and his muscle men has probably gone to the extent of contacting your family member their worry is if you come here I will be rich and they can not see me becoming so, When Smridhi came here I used to go to vaishali park just 7 minutes walk from this pc alongwith ricky navu and smiridhi. She felt isolated desolate so I was specifically warmful to her. It continued for 2 yrs and ......................
When war became on active mode ( I told you this war is bloody life long that intensified in 88-89 ) all left me consequently. I have yet to know what for. I am not referring to RC Minhas the deadliest pathetic mammoth and his clones but what happened to those who were not his like. This war turned navu to be so inhumane that makes me ponder why if at all these (..........) that powerful.

Throw your cigs.

Sometime it happens so you try to recollect but the links become bullshit so archaic that paleontology is required to recollect what happened at where and why. But the point is who takes that left over gaps in memory lanes. I dont remember I ever visualized you in some beautiful face or in surroundings then What I intend to say that I missed you may be your heart can tell you in a better way as my pencil can create roses thorns as well where it wishes. Malacca strait I told has been a reminiscent historical link of happening in what sense not. Early in morning at 6 AM we were asked to parade and take the seats. I remember the driver was very sharp as the vehicle was maintaining  100 plus speed something that takes so much into it to be a practical reality. Singapore checkpoint was special and its looks extra when international checking is on road maintained system We were told throw your cig s else this is a Callahan state in all terms.

Malacca strait.

Love may be its a riddle only why one remembers when away from place of living as otherwise called so. Whom a heart feels closer at something known in cipher languages. Malacca the so called important sea way Malacca strait, happened to our mid of the journey from Bangkok to Singapore. I remember hotel room was some 22 storeys and I was searching you somewhere around. We were having some 4 hrs at our disposal. I tried to see the town with team mates. But then I dont know how I was left all alone. That much I know that Dr Harish Arora acted like a ghost everywhere where I went but probably he has gone far far beyond which is even beyond your imagination. I have ofcourse big photoalbum with that I will show you when come here.Malacca as is pop after its history and related structures I saw peoples lost somewhere which they are not sure at all. Apparently lost relevance haunts at every plausible phase. 

What to talk of connectivity.

Love the harsh is something you have only but to forget, KAL was a place from where I wrote a mail that its like something fagun of India. We were picked up quickly and left in restaurant that seemed to be Indian in nature and content. At around 12.15 AM I was in room when I saw from the window pane it was huge structure surrounded by equally big sky risers. I somehow felt may be I have left you negotiating somewhere from where I have no connectivity at all. We were given instructions to start at 6 AM so I went to bed after taking my medicine as I am for the last 20 plus years and you seem to be no where what to talk of connectivity. 

at all.

I have often asked
new stretch of flowers
seasons for
it asks
I decipher little

gardeners
takes its stance
from where
for whom
at all

I try
find hard

another trench
fresh ness of thee

how gardener
makes
relevance
pre defined
at heart of heart

I have asked
find little

trench of flowers

come again

may be
I am focussed

I dont know
at all 

what a bloody truth.

When Modi has sacrificed his peace of mind for the masses in eradication of corruption in Indian system Mulayam Singh Yadav and his Yadav pariwar has ordered all officialdom to collect cash otherwise send the public back WHAT A BLOODY TRUTH. 

You are very intelligent to reckon with.

Love before I say you good night this time I will write you the present of companies under company act. Have you ever  heard of a term like think out of the box and see whether if you look to seek the volume terminology. You might have heard cash is king like terms but I am referring to poor is king as the cardinal of present under the mega concept. It however does not point to that mid and upper segment can be waived off rather its that these segments can be profitable or say less vulnerable to the sagacity and sarcasm of market forces. Probably I have used too much hi fi terminology that you may not like but I know you are very intelligent to reckon with. 

Sea Water speaks like your heart.

Love our sojourn to Pataya was immensely romantic and happening. When you visit a foreign country or say peoples you witness too much which you simply do not know of it. It was like that we started from our hotel ambassador in a bus. It was a tourist coach. I was having camera with me at that time. I have clicked hundreds and hundreds for you to live with me of that time. I can say it was a colour ful mix of country side its urban population. Road driving and space was remarkable. Pataya Beach is profusely beautiful awesome you feel like flying over the oceanic beauty around. The beach is spread over say 50 km but waters were deep all the way. I was just observing some of the snaps taken over my cell camera. Its unbelievable love. What naked eyes could even imagine it runs live over it and sea speaks like your heart. 

folded hands.

I stood
folded hands
but saw no temple
around

blue thy colour
I asked
for shades

folded hands

some saw me
others
like me

lost in you

I saw you

with folded hands.