PINES SMILES AT RAJPATH..Dec,31.10,12.20AM

I am afraid of love
"mughei pyar sei dar lagta he"

I was negotiating the hectic traffic on Vijaychowk
Army buses waited the people in dress to come and push off fast as the VIP movement suddenly came crashing on the surrounding

I took fast steps to avoid embarrassment to the security people

but suddenly stoped afterwords

I was not at all interested who is that VIP that happened to throng here at this hr of rush and fast catche' of the evening close up

I am afraid of love
my heart was repeatedly pulling me up

I didn't bother to reply

now my steps stopped on expanse of lawns beautifully maintained to put extra glamour to the happening site for millions

the reverberated sound of my heart resonated in the stratosphere

"I am afraid of love"

I kept silent

are you fool enough: you are not listening to me : my heart pulled me up

suddenly I found the whole passage was diverted owing to Republic day ceremony preparations

I have managed this expanse too many time whilst on security duty

my heart again pulled me up: are you bullshit damn deaf and dummy around

I was instead lost in the fragrance of the environs
my focused eyes on India Gate
It appeared like a profusely dressed up bride

I pondered how many brides have lost their love to fetch this happening day to me

my heart was asking his stupid questions too intermittently

suddenly I got annoyed

I retorted back

can't you see
every body was afraid of love
whilst they scarified all

damn it : don't teach me the history of nationalities

Now I listened to my heart

but by this time
it got evolved to that extent

yes love
I appreciate
Love is only meant for loosing

and love lives in ghost entities

probably that is the right place of its existence

my heart was self satiated

but now I was looking the blues

why I am afraid of love
I asked me instead

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PINES SMILES AT RAJPATH..30,Dec.10.7.27PM

the day went to the tunes of twisty twirly rhythms of work

with whims of self devised oasis
whilst the mirage continued to play the roost of toughest reality

I remembered the cosy times spent with my acquaintance transformed to sweet heart
ground reality crunch didn't budge at all

I fought with streams of reality equations

the dwindling strength of spirits with me

gaining strength at another moment
with vengeance of my nerves

the struggle is infinite
I know

my lonely heart and hardy nerves will never accept defeat

but I do wonder

what I have to do

whom to give my sides

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PINES SMILE AT RAJPATH WITH VENGEANCE..11.37PM.27,Dec.10

the day ended with a usual tone of preparedness for the next morning hrs
its nothing new in my Army environs

I was slow and pausing too frequent as if I didn't wish to come to my home

I suddenly felt the fragrance of trees was too penetrating
the rustic attire of Her is a bliss
I know this since my univ days

but what made the moments so special

I didn't pull my nerves to act
the spirit of monotonous entity refused to budge at all

my steps and me
they are accustomed to roam around vijay chowk
the happenings ulma mater
people throng to get the taste of their love one

some of the plants appeared to wish me something special

my dud nerves brushed aside their gestures

I crossed the royal expanse
with no inkling of special moments

my heart did sleep over the itinerary
of the chores

I realised
I was getting fresh fragrance from own aura
whilst being too busy at my work during whole of the day

I did wonder
I have not applied any special perfume

what makes my system to feel like rouwolfia
or say magnolian beauty lit large

A senior Col of forces asked me to sign the papers
of the previous day finished work

I thought army officers are used to such fragrance

but this was throughout the day

I came at my this pc

suddenly found
the fragrance was oozing out

I still wonder
how this fragrance walked along me
to that extent

source: my special heart

PINES SMILE WITH VENGEANCE.10.02PM.Dec.25.10

pyar" keisa hota hei
how does love look like


my heart asks me
I stop my tears
I know it would like too stupid

I was walking as usual at the Rajpath whilst vijay chowk was already shadowed with thick blanket of fog
I could realise the shining border lines

as if the lord has to come and say something

may be I am too afraid of love

the reasons are abysmally simple
IF hurt feels are weakening me
as day passes

I don't look like a weakened stuff

but my heart asks

what will you do with the strength

I search every nanon of my happenings

work equations laugh at me

and say
what will you after we expire our innings

I smile
but fights remain intact

source::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PINES SMILES WITH VENGEANCE..5.02AM,25thDec.10

me and my environment
often ask each other

the questions are asked in cipher language

I have learned this language at my Army experience
but the hearts wavelengths
No body can have depth of the things around

its even beyond the expertise of psychiatry
howsoever smart and manoeuvre able the doctor may be

but what it pertains to

its not that things are painted in rosy

life remains intact in normal ways around

the meaning and equations change a billionth

but how to know the things in between the lines

its simply beyond the understanding of a normal brain

stars shine as usual
but the shine of love is different
so is the life around

the fragrance of the environs
its takes the warmth
hitherto inexperienced by the mundanes

normal mundane brain may call it simply foolish
but its the other way round
on the reality aspects of this exotic existence

its not that it involves any possession
in either way
its rather the contrary

but it gives you all
in return

source::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PINES ARE SMILING ON RAJPATH contd.Dec.21.10.10.58PM

hitherto fore I never realised that I am loved by such exotic hearts who enthused me to write and have a meaning of life so vacuous otherwise to the extent I see the horizon and ask myself who the person are you


I was conversing to Neha Mehta and found myself to be as if living on another planet of exotica

I was writing like a robot and probably she wondered how to respond to this spoilt genius

I know my end of know how is horrible to an equation whereby I have to stop myself with psychiatric medicines

but I love to love my sweet hearts

my heart asks where are you all alone

I get caught by the penetrating question of my heart

I look for
but what is that

today late evening as I crossed the vijay chowk
it was a scintillating scene all around

the lights were putting extra glamour to the landscape around

I did ask myself
such an exotic place
and you remain so desolate and dejected

but why so

probably I have no reply

I search where my love has got lost

but what is my love
I fail to understand myself

the quest goes on relentlessly

and I find in another quagmire
to know myself
and my love

source: Neha .C Mehta

PINES ARE SMILING AT RAJPATH..Dec.20.10.5.00AM

I could not feel the real love feelings for the last 20yrs or so

my univ did tel me what this word stands for
but it could not put me a reality quotient
probably it didn't have the powers to that extent

I was conversing live ( a rare bliss for me ) with one of my sweet hearts

I read the whole conversations too much repeatedly

the purpose was to know : what and where the love has been lost

this word is really exotic to truest form

you simply can't love if you wish
it comes to you of its own

but if it comes in any form : its the epitome of god : probably the rarest bliss one can have

I traverse my short distance at Rajpath everyday
with a thought full brain and empty hands
in a quest to know of my own self

and its the toughest aspect to know your own self

but I do it repeatedly
as this has proved the greatest challenge at my front of happenings

looking for the rainbow
whilst I know its too ephemeral

why my thoughts look sane
I ask too much of me

I visualise as if my life is burning to end
without a purpose at all

I ask myself
who is your love

and are you sure
it will realise you at all

I have no reply at all

so my questions remain empty
till the other day and night
evening too

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

EUPHORBIA ROYALANA..Dec.19.10.8.02AM

its a chilly weather this morning
but I have opened all doors of my flat and put on the fan at slow speed

I wrote I feel the heat of June at this sneazy winter

I do not feel the physical heat but my stormy thoughts put the things like that

If this is being read by my acquaintance and friend Dr. Dimple : she will put me in a psychiatric asylum and my friend and respected heart .Dr. Harish Arora will put his sarkari sig to prove the point.

I don't claim of much of psychiatric disorders
but probably I am none other than its plethora of implications

my heart asks: change the scenario: if you were living with a beauty around you:
Now I am compelled to accept this ground reality would have been completely inverted

Now it says it proves that you are a definite case of psychiatric disorder

things may be too twisty twirly on light side

but rainbow of ground realities takes its own toll

so here are the equations

I wander for the wandering sake

definitely I will prefer to write new equations and challenges
as my friend Neha suggested one time
but I know its too easy to write as the excellence of writing is already with you with the hurrying experience of dedicated reading in between the lines and the learning process of the yrs if put together makes things too glossy

I know reality is too cruel

probably that is the reason

I do not let my bio system to adopt to luxury

as I hardly know

when I am asked to run and shoot

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

BOUGANVILLIA..Dec.18.10.8.00PM

I was a lonely heart in near smashing crowds of Nehru Place this afternoon
my this visit was too mundane- to purchase a data traveller

but my heart always looks for alibi
as if God is simply free of its infinite work to please this pumping machine

time travels with unforeseen cardinals
but why we fall short of its goals

I have no reply at hand

as the equation and meaning of time is different with different scenarios

back home
I was surfing one of my sweet hearts snaps

why things are too close and infinitesimal at another quotient
my heart was poking me this time

some of my source of inspirations do come on line
but I do not converse at all
my questions remain to myself only

the vacuum gathers momentum

but I know there is hardly anything else

self centred existence is de fault causality
with which you have to negotiate
irrespective of your potentials

this is what time stands for
an elderly person told me one day

I still wonder
why we are so time circumscribed

is it we
or the existential factors put the final thumb

may be both

source:::::::::::::

BOUGANVILLIA..Dec.14.10.8.30PM

meet with the mooring is probably what I make of sand dunes and my heart


happy moments self defined
its a different equation

whilst at FDK psychiatry ward I was exposed to plethora of happenings hitherto airy to my nerves

but how it shall take a reality quotient
I hardly know of it

I remain obsessed with work equations
probably that's what Nature has bestowed upon me

how a heart shall enthuse an array of exotic moments
my heart looks around round the clock

yes its true
I really don't know

is that less knowledge is a bliss
one can say that

but the reality crunch
it hardly leaves anyone unprepared

I feel the heat of June in this chilly weather
it occurs vice versa at June timings

I search my heart

find no reply at all

may be
I am that only

source : Dr.Dimple.b

INFLOURESCENCE.,Dec.06.10.7.00PM

Bank of Baroda Defence Colony New Delhi
the special home loan counter

I was calm posed to get my loan payment for tax purposes

it was a usual day except for the lady officer dealing my case

nothin special
but I make sand dunes with a beautiful pen paint of thoughts
to survive the monotony that hits me at every another second with me

I recall my previous writting , exuberant with euphoric moments with a hidden thread of sad tone

but I was happy for that moments at the euphoric experience

some hearts are fragrant
it leaves your aura with a sunami of freshness and relevance

I know the backwaters
they will go with all my worth
leaving me again in a ditch of vaccum lit large

but who cares

GENESIS OF TERROR

Brain wash is commonly used and understood over the populace

technique may be of different sorts

the bio-energetic parametric understanding is more complex

the brain activity has holistic approach towards the factor which has manipulations in whole array of psychological and psychiatric paradigms

the short and long memory often translates into complex proteins of the brain nervous system
the gene language written in this fashion proves the cardinal

whether its manoeuvrable to the extremes

the answer is big yes

this very technique is being used over the ages to manipulate the things on inter-personal levels

the results are horrific and extremely realistic
well tested over the generations

but present day science has much more to say

the pros and cons of advanced psychological and psychiatric aspects are twin blade sword

then the frontiers are endless

but the cost of this warfare in plethora of aspects is simply mind stirring

you can make and remake the whole world around

the genesis itself can be manipulated

well who are winners and loosers

depends

on its applicability and approach

BEYOND MY REACH..Dec.03.10.10.20PM

me and my controversial half
it struggles day and night round
with a meaningless struggles at hand

I remain aghast
why the stuff is so hot
what is the topic at large

moments come suddenly crashing on me
sending tormentors nerves on full stream
I perform to out stand my reality
as it thrashes me at the face
with an intense and momentous sharp

what is fuss all about
I too largely encompassing at thoughts
far less accustomed to ground realities

remember my hearts
that may give me strength
for the immediate fight

whilst I know
its me only

the dark span around

struggles of interiors
it fetches me another front
too open with uncertain hostilities on the heights

I do wonder

is it so real
or the whims around

I loose the reality touch

just to find another one