I dont know

I dont know
its a usual
way
the boring stuff
I negotiate
all the time


I dont know
how it will make
a difference
at 
when
you will be with me

Nor.

I have deleted
I know you are in Delhi
but I do not know your address

neither I could afford to come
nor

vipasana is a bloody stunt only.

Kiran was staying profusely happiest person on earth with her small time life with her hubby at gurgaon. Some how the rahul gandhi sochion' thei kisano ka khyal koni rakho bhai thei kis baat ka pardhan mantri banyio bari bari fankion' thei jab votvan' botareinon' fir bolio piso ka gyan tho thei janion' koni bhai thei kei sarkar chalaon' aapnei aapnei dhol pitwa kein' (wait yaar I am going some where ) sunyo tho bhai ramlilo kei kahaneio mein susro monkey ki puuch pei aag lag rakhi thi, susro pani metho kar dio bizli ka khyal rakho baro hi nek insaan rakho bhai : aachi fenk leinv leivein' bolio agli baar hamari bar gali gali ma. Bhai kei bero logan' thoro bhai loktanter therion' kani. I was standing in sector 23, I remember I was having a cheque against a cash with my hand and the kejriwal was very happiest person on earth with his love and what not. And then what should I tell you its around 2 years now kejriwal has not understood that vipasana is a bloody stunt only.

meih to bhai garib sein' abhi bhi.

You might have wondered why even the kids started blasting with their non sense yei kon so grib pardhan mantri shoro bhonkei sein' susro kapro pahanei lakhon' kei. I went to Agra and haridwar with kiran and anu and their mom , kiran hubby was with us only. And the bloody kids with their cell phones traced our second to second pen pictures even with the help of pan walas , some utensil sellers, some gifts sellers and the like. And the master mind behind himself was the person who sexually assaulted anu. Even today he is the god of those who have cell phones with them. This cell phone bhonkeinein' walo dramo susro sab ko non sense sikhlyio devo bhai. pardhan mantri kei kaprieon' uutarneion' vaso kani sonio gandhi man hi man mei muskraon' aur televa business valo vashno devi ka photo kheinchtein' kani thyako koni. fir theein' janayeion' mombateion' lein' kein' thei saro nageinion' holi kani aur chal deio vijay chowk peio. susro jab naav dubni lagi to' bolio mata ji mahri pension pakki bana dei tharo kahlistan ka aacho dhyan rakhu. baro aachi bhasha bolion' susro. Kavita sunyion' bachvo ko. meih to bhai garib sein' abhi bhi. 

Putin and Natural laws.

Malikana hak has been a bane of so called liberal societies as their laws are derived from English pattern where female is the head of the state so its construed that if a female does not have malikana hak that is a so called nark in common language. And female is not given to a male who is unable to give or produce a semblance of malikana hak. Rajputana a largest possible society where raja used to send the dola in front of beautiful girls house and the people were happy to give all the ones and these girls were also happy to have a malikana hak and another male in the form of even a peon or jamadar of that eventful era the system worked well as it followed the Natural laws. The females got the izzat and izzat ki roti and sensual hak as well. Now the system is deteriorating  everywhere and Putin can not help with its fastest jets. as no body wants to follow the Natural Laws. 

The value of money wiped away.

One day there was a semi contractual job person some name I am unable to recall he could not get a female as the females had have been Osama bin laden all the times. He was helped to purchase a female from some area of rajasthan of that even ful days and was give a place in our old house. The night this man went overwhelmed with his bloody dukhrei which I tell you my own ones. During those days English liquor was a privileged item and desi was also available with a premium tag. The difference probably you can not know I am explaining : desi is hard and bitter at taste and intoxicates sharp has a less long effect i.e say if you take even 4 paks which is considering normal it will not last for more than 5 hrs . He was weeping and telling his stories of agonies like I write love letters to you. The female could strive the night and then they left for the village. She stayed with her for some months then the value of money wiped away. 

collective elite'

Deepika I have not seen you in real life not in reel life as I dont remember I have seen your movie, I feel you are in films from 2007 but its not your flip flop I have never seen a normal day in my life as when I came to know of kiran her mom introduced that she is kiran and one day kiran introduced me she is her anu. I have been to their place say once in a year and hell was thrown upon both of them. Sometimes everybody behaves like Putin. 
My heart asks
can we go
a place
where raja janak
and his praja does not reside
I keep quiet
I know my heart
a lonely chap
deepika is busy
it simply doesn't believe
and says
you make me fool 
even in your poems

I wonder
what it wants to say

it says
previously you told

it was 
raja janak'
and his
collective elite

simply be a commner

hindi I dont know much I think I told you why I lost at hindi.
Nothing Good Night you could have at least told me where you are staying in Delhi, its very difficult to drive a car in Delhi so if I have to come to your place I will come only in Metro. No metro near by then you can come at a metro stn. nearby or mobile yes you can use now but love that bloody Putin. Any how leave it. Bloody cranks around. you know it bhai how you can contact me , simply be a comm ner and pull the bell. 

I think ( yes I am in my house you probably got struct up at your heart any how come now ) Pakiza movie revolves around a story line when a male character brings a previously prostitute in his house. The father character revolts etc.  Whole of the world has loved this movie for different reasons and Parkash Padukone could be only one on this earth. Putin is so crank he feels you some bloody Meena Kumari then he the hell calls on me via a dubious calls and feels he has become the bloody Jesus on earth.Nahi its fine dubious calls are seriously not allowed nor the messages.

what I can.

I was thinking had you could have come out of the what should be said the factor of uncertain quotient of the sale ability concept you would have been with me by this time and may be you have done a better job . I am taking my time to get ready its nothing new.


when words
thoughts 
have failed to fetch
what
it means all

I have to start
walking 
the lanes
defined
meant
what I can 

daffodils smile
bereft
of what a word
can 
can not make
haughty may be
the shores
attires
its own

what I can 

known to you

my heart says
where could be you
can I know 
what could be
land marks
the GPS of mine
it works 
but not
what my heart
wants

it again says
I have not heard

what should I say

my heart believes
what is probably
known to you

akal bari ya fir bheins.

yes Deepika from now onwards I will be picking all calls on my mobile and persons who are allowed to put a call on my mobile are you yourself, navu, ricky, kiran and anu. And its a strictest possible warning that No body else should put a call else I should better keep quiet further because even now any body do a mischief then let the hell come on that one (s).The reason I have not mentioned names or say not allowed your mom and dad and sis is that there are endless cranks who may put dubious calls and let them suffer why you want to put names of your family. You call first and then give the mobile to your family but be sure your family means your family NO BODY ELSE UNDER ANY PRETEXT AND EVEN YOUR PERSONAL TO ME WILL BE YOUR PERSONAL CALL AND NO BODY CAN TAKE THAT CALL IN ANY MANNER WHAT SO EVER IT MAY BE OTHER THAN WHAT I TALK TO YOU. why I have put an explanation that many cranks like putin and your co stars may do mischievous acts  of many sorts .and when I talk to your family that will be for their personal consumption only that talk can not be taken by any crank sadistic putin and the like hell people are around.I hope then I should say akal bari ya fir bheins. Deepika if a message saying from Deepika that will exactly means your only and only your personal message other s are simply not allowed I dont think punjabi is that tough. Yes Deepika the hell broke upon kiran and anu via this methodology that dubious calls were made on my phone. NOW NATURALLY IF ANY BODY CALL S ME DUBIOUS AND MAKES HELL FOR ANY OF YOU 5 THAT HELL WILL FIRE BACK AUTOMATICALLY I need not put an explanation every time.Yes Deepika its simply heart breaking into pieces that I am living a kala pani life from say last 18 yrs. Kala Pani is the deadliest possible jail term in history. just search on google may be English peoples might have written truth.
yes heart simply melts if you can remember the whole tamasha or say OM SHANTI OM PLAYED IN THIS HOUSE ETC. YES ITS STARTING FROM 1989 AND ITS SIMPLY SO HORRIFIC THAT HOLLYWOOD SCRIPTS SIMPLY LOOK PALE eg in 1991 when a cell phone was sent to this house for trading the ladies and I was put to the severest possible of slavery which I have done it successfully even knowing everything absolutely clear. Nahi Deepika Its simply un liveable life . Probably you might have forgotten whole sequences. Or might be I missed to tell you. eg I used to wait for 6-8 hrs at railways stns roads air ports for all these beautiful peoples who number in hundreds. I used to use chetak scooter at 45 degree Celsius and used to ply air conditioned maruti for these beautiful peoples to fetch them to and fro from such destinations and then go back to office on my scooter as the beauty queen of the universe took all my money but not allowed that I may also be a human being like her beloved gods. similarly in biting chills. and after that I was tasked to love them in markets for fetching bloody what not and wait there for 15-20 hrs for their comfort. My heart simply squeezes to remember it bhai.Navu whom I loved and served in the same fashion was hell bound to send me to jail. Oof what should I tell you. 

all the time.

sometimes
I do ask
whether I am here for you
are
the smiles that fast 
hidden 
glowing 
fresh'n fresh

my heart opines

its not the way
you skirt me
so quiet

all the time 

My etios.

I hardly use my etios in Delhi. kiran is still kidnapped by her system. An Anu name is osama bin laden for me as the spies eyes are fixed with utensil s as my neighbors want to see even the threads of my underwear. Today I have to purchase a gift item as I am supposed to be on an official marriage party at TA (territorial Army ) hostel in Delhi cantt at 7.30 PM  tomorrow. I was thinking to have cuttlery items from Karol Bag and use the etios as its in my midway of commuting. Ranibagh I am not sure whether items can be there. I never ever like that a star of the film world is circumscribed by the system in such way that it becomes a bloody iron caged monkey as even Prime minister of Europe simply walk on road just un noticed by any body. Why Indian s can have a sense like. Security aspect is something you can it can be handled with a little common sense. And I have seen senior managers wiping there penus in front of the beauty queen of the universe and I dont think I have a bio physiology in my body politic whereby I will be having any bloody clutch and gear allignment problem of the cars of the gone by era of Indra in India howsoever Sonia is extremely intellectual in Parliament but once she said to her hubby that the only fear is that < I dont want to loose you > now see the music when hubby is not there it does not mean that she should loose even a common sense of the changed Time.
Inspite of my such letter I dont think you can afford to come as you really have to know how a runner do his job in army ( Indian ) only then you can match my whimsical way of life. 

So Warmth full

How should I know where are you, at least I am alone in my flat. One day I was posted in a office called QMG Coord , its a hi fi office probably you are not aware such jargon s. This was the time when I tried my last fag end effort to save the sinking boat but that is history now as the birds have flown to their destiny like you may be sipping some drinks with your favorites but I am made to believe that you are a lonely heart at your inner psyche and do not like bloody makhies but some how you show to the world that makhies are happening s only as it fetches dollars which quite naturally whole of the world is looking for as I am made to believe that people are ready to throw bloody nuclear bombs for dollar as their own currencies are bloody toilets as per their own chosen ways and mind set ups. Once such a day of my happening at this office a girl newly recruited LDC got posted in my office and I was Officer boss to every body howsoever my boss never liked me some Mr. Datt as I was horribly royal at work and never bothered to sir ji yei kar lo etc. I was extremely pleasant and warmth full with this girl too. I some how failed to notice that she has chosen a boyfriend in the same office and he was with my military boss Maj Gen (now, but Col at that time- lets not name him , he is nice and may not like so open talks. ) now, once such opening day of the day I was so warmth full that she felt as I dethroned the legacy of his boy friend. But it was very very late I could realise. After That I have made a point not be so warmth full.  

Deepika there is a horrible misconception about romance and love as such on earth in totality starting from individual s to mega scales say groups in groups social systems etc etc just to identify the nomenclatures vs its actual people , I will not preach over here, but who is yours he comes to you straight and who is not yours he makes alibi and existential hypo and hyper , now the point is how to identify who to move first and when and what etc. have you heard navita she asked me if I am available. My door gets opened the moment the knocker has a heart other than what I have explained. 

what I have spell

I have written
how love
it spell like

may you read
its a little difficult

hazy quirky
nerves may say
this is that

may be 
you have
what I have spell  

what I was

I wanted to locate a fluorescent species of some flying chap but probably google is not that much google. Any how.
 I have not
thought
a day may come
some one
mine me only
shall ask
how are you

may be
its far
far ways
me mine

I search
hard and hard
at my heart

may be
I have not
searched

what I was

a poem

yes sometimes I do believe you love me.

some moments'
I have forgotten
when 
if they come back
I better forget

my heart says
is it true
or you just
want to write 

a poem 

and see my heart

Some times
my heart opines
why its so bloody fuss
is that crazy 
crazy is the air

I say quietly
forget
your Deepika is yours
no bastard
can snatch her 
from you

it says
I dont believe

I take deep breath

and see my heart.

Deepika probably there is something wrong with the development of homo sapiens sapiens. You can say  Nature has chosen some horribly wrong trait s in the bio logical cauldron of the froth to speak like common English and certain traits which were a part of say , have you read cell physiology : there is a mechanism of vacuole , this vacuole contains dissolving solutions, this is a highly complex mechanism of cell physiology. It has plethora of functions. I can not write a phd for you over here as its really a phd topic which I have happened to write. But this mechanism if understood on psychiatric know how an intrinsic sadistic trait is what that come off. I hope you can understand now. 

Lets forget.

stoic my ways
I take my steps
one by one
may you can feel
the stoic pains

I know 
stoic is the time
stoic the sharp
hardened hard

my heart opines

lets forget

I know Deepika your work equation s are something that you simply can not afford to come and stay with me. There is nothing un usual in it.
Yes sometimes I pass my time on the back drop of memory lanes of say early days but some how virus has corrupted the whole soft ware , I know you being a star of the modern world can understand my English. Yes this makes it very tough to say negotiate the live world with me. This snap is extremely what should I write as if you are made for me. yes writing such warmth ful words make a sense but you see this sense is subjective love. Only a female heart can understand what I have happened to write howsoever I am male only. 

By this time you r father might have understood that it is something beyond his apprehensive nerves. Any how I do not know whether he has taste for my poems. 
my etios 
sometimes it asks
its boring
then it keeps quiet

may be
it has 
learned
a lot
from my heart.

I am trying to make soup drink : I thought it would have been a little different if you could have been with me. I dont know I feel its taken just we take some noodles etc. cold version I dont know may be its taken as cold version as well. 

at my own moments.

you sometimes might have wondered at your heart why I have not taken the snaps of your world quite often whilst I take the snap even of a shoe etc or a fungal hyphae etc.

The stars smile every night
say something
faces shine
with its glare

words to the tunes
do say

distances
take a note

may be meanings as well

I have
asked me

at my own moments. 

What it means.

nahi deepika for me probably writing to you is the only a better occupation , yes I am not well but being not well is something better not say you may find me so every time when you will come here. 

some times I do ask 
is that I will write 
when you will be 
with me

but then the point is
why to write
we will go somewhere
say 
for a walk

my heart pokes 
I hope

I understand
what it means. 

at all.

I think you know something about lady Diana of London : Probably peoples do not know that lady suffered from psychiatric ailment related to psychosis whereby a person assumes to be far better than what has been it is say on existential grounds and what is at the hands is presumed to be a pity and worthless and the patient's distorted self gives an elusive self acquisitions of thoughts that simply breaks the patient into pieces.
any how : do tel the tv channel wala that I dont need their sifarish for you.

I have spent a moments 
some of mine
may be yours as well
as if
you have 
my heart interrupts 
hey
she is where

I keep quiet

it says again

I somehow convince
the hardy guy with me

you
how do you feel
there is a difference 
at all 

pebbles of my heart

pebbles
I collect
streams of my making
I stop 
one to one
if it makes
words I speak 

silence at my heart
fetches another lot
shiny silvery fresh
streams of my heart
put an array
knowing little
of its
own attire


pebbles of my heart.

I pause.

I ask my little fingers
write something
that can make
my heart
a sane enough

I see
things are
may be beyond
what I ask
my heart says
are you jealous of me

I pause
see around

may be
my deep breath
can make a sense

abhi sein' hi

in hindi : can't say : hindi is tough bhai.

chinar kei aadhei adhurei
khilei phool
khushnuma hein'
kahatei hein
tuum achei ho

dil mei sochta hun'
yein' bhi
tuumahara hi saath deitein' hein'

abhi sein' hi

Cant you wait.

I am trying yaar wait : writing a poem is not a pyaz kato job.

blue is my thought'
asks my heart
fetch a light
windows stare
stark hard

I pause
moments of mine
come one by one
thrash hard
little with me
left without you

I ask
my heart
cant you wait

Deepika it seems to be one of your say what should I say you already know better. Nothing tomorrow is working day only , I am trying to sleep hope you will come but I dont know why you dont come. 

I simply hate.

Not withstanding that you see me at my office and at net facilitated global cameras ( these are useless from my angle as it fetches neither any meaning nor any relevance for me ) had the environment being sane enough you and kiran and anu could have met me for once just to make me live my life as you see I am not a bloody toilet on which the experimentation s are going on how many types of helminth s are there etc.

whilst you was in Delhi during tamasha shoot you planned some idea but I know your cranky co star made a bloody mess and non sense every where possible including his mom and dad etc.

this is all conflict order I simply hate. 

kuch nahi yaar net wale mujhei muurkh samjhatein' hein' : akal kei andhein'

my heart

Nothing Deepika I just wanted to write to you. Yes sometimes you feel like what to write. Nahi painting love is quite different aspect.  Yeah most of the time its the one that is required in exact terms.

slow and fast
beats my heart
ask s me a lot
my fingers can read
may be
you do not

my heart wonders
at its beats
why it fails
fetch a little 
close 
if not more

sometimes
fingers get tired
lone notes
may be 
it weighs 
what it fails
as it runs fast

my heart

yes deepika its boring without you. I dont know much but I miss you. 

I have seen this snap many times whilst doing my office job you might have seen me I may presume it be so. 

What to say contd.

you see Deepika the phenomenon of recognition or say acceptance by the factor of conflict order ( in its wide terminology ) is not love at all but generally its perceived so only even by our physiological system. This is the reason Almighty remains zillons and zillons nautical miles away from such things . Any how my this letter is only meant for just to tell you I seriously dont know why I love you. 

Come. !!

come
its the filthiest enviorns
may I have
some moments
of mine
studded a fresh

my heart
its says
why cant you go
its not far a way

come
its filthiest environs

may I find
a fresh
to breathe

what should I say

I have often wondered why normal is not normal on scientific basis. You may say what is this bullshit jargon but I feel its really tough to get the nerves what I have happened to write in these a few lines. 

any how I wanted a snap for writing a poem but probably you are too busy to upload one that I require. 

dew drops on leaves

slide one by one

hey its now

I wonder

the euphoric moments

in organics

otherwise too

why its not 

a way 

life can afford

I ask 

may be

I find little

as little

may be the big

we fail 

at the hearts of hearts 

you are special to me.

I have taken one of your snap s studded with one of the prime moments may you could also have felt so.
I know I have had very sorry state affair of my luck in my personal life with very very pathetic peoples that have left a long array of sobering nerves but I do know if you have 99 % bad life but get a better one after that one should be thank ful to the Almighty.
Do say to your mom you are special to me.

Do say my hello to your Dad.

you see Deepika time is something that only my pencil knows and possesses the prowess to handle but I am not using or say my pencil is not writing this love letter to you. I miss navu childhood and probably get the idea how the things turn twisty twirly so is the case with ricky. When you will come here you may find them the gems surrounded by ever possible filthiest thinkable but love for them they are not because their heart is divided : have you understood love. 

today is working day I really didn't want to disturb your sleep rhythms. 

your mom seems to be more original in this combined snap.

Its not possible to know why we love and if there is some ways and means to tell the environment behave. Probably this is what the biggest cauldron we face on scientific basis understanding. 

Today I feel its Saturday only.

I have neither seen nor read the contract papers or say agreement papers which you and people of your industry sign and the if s and buts into it but probably they have not changed their papers I feel its already on record what punishment they will get any how I was expecting you to be with me as cranky brains still believe I am hurriedly going to meet some female (s) 

your dress was good

I can understand you can not put a call to me
but somehow you can understand putting a call is another thing
I dont have a cell phone either with me
you could have used e mail
then you can also presume what is their in bullshit vocabulary

you asked about diwali
its relaxation is not possible

may be you know
sometimes I do feel
I could have been a little
say smart guy and my pencil

but you see
I dont know whether you will really come to me

so
why should I be smart guy with my pencil 

may be they no word to speak

sometimes my heart asks me
is that fixation , the fuss
I am busy all the time

with or without

I do wonder
my heart
how come
it has started
speaking
mundane

I ask my lonely airs
how come
you adore me

may be they have
no word to speak