SHADOWS OF REALITY

there is hardly few morning eves
when I am not late to office

U shall ask
what the hell U do

Its true I do nonthin
still I am late

I get prepared fast
eat nothin
walk fast
have no day dreams

yesterday I was a bit earlier to my standard time
standing in metro
U were there few millimeters away
standing just touching my soul and body alike

I ignored all the beauty U have

but your freshly shampooed hair
it did catch my still sleepy psyche

I was pondering at the combines
shampoo+hair+your body aura

suddenly I realised
my fascinations has crossed the visible threshold

I did remember
one day U and we were sitting under a Kachnar tree

the fragrance of this beautiful flowering tree
it became that of your

Now when I am still sleepy
I feel the Kachnar frag as its coming from U

I do ponder
Why U delete so many scraps from your Orkut profile
there is nothing that disturbs me neither I visit your profile for any purpose

I simply look for the Kachnar frag

and visualise
as if
U are with me

then how does it matters
if U write your status as married or otherwise

U see my love
U simply can't delete the Kachnar frag
emanating from the horizons
touching my soul and body together

next time
if U feel deleting something
have a thought

Kachnar frag all around
lit large
to the extremes

its 521AM
so good morning my love
have nice day
with your own personal wealth

but nevertheless
I remain obsessed
with my Kachnar fresh

source:!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

KILLING INSTINCT..May,05.10

Today I was doing many jobs simultaneously while standing at the sarkari tea stall
some of these are
-staring at your room from my window
-sipping the tea slowly
-my desi navy cut
-thinking how to start the drafting of today's priority cases at hand
-hurrying to finish off before I am too late to join the official tea in conference hall with my super brass all put together
-thinking whilst foolish hallucinations don't work
-you shall never be one of the beauties around in your office lawn
-staring the chaps drawing money at ATM at Axis and HDFC banks
-pondering my equations of harsh reality
-planning to negotiate my mundanes and money matters
-try to feel normal inspite of oceanic storms at my psyche
-fighting my defeats of the loneliness
-putting my whole bullshit scientific know how in one go
-observing the playful monkeys
-looking at other end horizons over CP
-negotiating flashes of memories of this place related with happenings
-and the lost war in realising you

my this Stormie behaviour attracted a person who wanted me join a group and learn yoga, vipashna etc with elaborating self sought mind set up and goals too sketchy etc

I suddenly stopped to be polite and government senior officer like behaviorism etc.

now at my pc I was searching which vehicle to purchase either cheverlet beat or maruti ritz

suddenly I realised my lost world

no where to go

I put this picture of yours from my hard disc

as if you can solve all the hell around

with a killing instinct
like that of mine

but my heart whispers

do you have one

I see the horizons
its too dark

to visualise my dreams

source::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONEIROPHOBIA..Contd..3.5.10

today eve hrs wore a slight change of heart
the increased stress makes to learn the negotiating nerves better maneuverable over a scale of your defined moments

I am hooked to movie masala cum singers' delights
tv channels probably a inevitable sin with us
time has to put stay at some loci

I find the parallel scenarios around
this triggers the unpalatable solutions

whilst I see the manual workers busy at their happenings
I hardly find a distance to that of mine
howsoever brainy work I absorbed at

the reality phobic nerves bring an introspection
every second with me

I simply ask
hell with you
lets go for lunch hrs

the deadly moments has never changed

phobic interiors
with mismatch psyche

is that the reality around

probably not

the hidden part
the calculated created world

where ever you happen to survive

manufactured relevance is harsh reality

when such the reality around
why don't we accept

the created quotient of our live world around

experts opines to the same set of reality around
irrespective of your moorings

why can't we accept
the shallow at our hearts

acceptance fetches a solace
hitherto unknown to us

so is the equations
when dealing taxing moments
interactive or otherwise

is that real meaning of happenings
around
its absolutely true

putting green colours to the environs
irrespective of the illusions
throbbing our heart

well!!!!!!!!!!!
that's approaching madness
at all of your faculties

but why don't we accept the truth
if it bring us closer to survival instincts

survival at emotions
that's the motto
of our all social happenings

with or without the approval
of the sane ones

source::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:::::::::::::::::::::::

BLACK ROSES.May3,10

its already for work bug to play its game of twisting
me too docile at nerves

sometimes
when you loose a gem
its looks like too stupid
at the times with us

but
the time its ocean of uncertainties
in spite of the know ledges at hand
only one thing remains
that you yourself only

the lonely ways
the De facto of environs

I shall be putting my feet on the grass of Rajpath
another eve of happening

you shall be lost before ever after

I have a silent rebellions

that serve no purpose

fa it
and with or without

fa it
it remains the same

like the legendary Queen

Cleopatra

I know you are unaware of

but I shall take another hr
to explain

when that hr will come

but you might have gone by that
beyond the factor relevance

again
the stupid memories

source!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ONEIROPHOBIA..May02.10

the tittle is regarding intense fear of horrible dreams with us during sleep hrs

its a controversial aspect as such

but I am writing beyond that

its something that your live and sleep have similar equations

its difficult to say
but those who have to negotiate
only the wearer knows where the shoe pinches

its like a person suffering from love bite

I generally utter at my private moments with the friends that women as a default simply don't suffer from love bite

reasons are simple
they don't love

well!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes facts are hard to breathe

but why the stupid males are prone to such distortions
the query seemingly very simple
its end shores are complicated

probably my whole writing point to this

source!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

INFLOURESCENCE..May.2.10

my friends told me unless you the hell around forget chandigarh you simply can't live your life.

I was taking the things too cool

suddenly I realised
for some hearts
whirlpools are all around

and memories
whether construed in what so ever manner

it remains and pains of existence linger large enough

does it mean
its better to have an indifferent heart

I play cool this time also

I was standing at a corner of the park
rains caught me unawared
a temple besides it
I had memories related to hard disc

I suddenly felt
these stupid memories
something is there
that makes your throbbing heart to breathe breathlessly

I play cool again

the reason my inner gives is simple

those who love you have their own constraints
and its also true
they have to go

and the memories they come haunting
forever
to negotiate

I play cool again
get lost
some where in present

and the present
its infinite

like you and me

source:::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::::

DROPLETS...May.01.10

at the moments with me
a few showers
droplets running after each other
striking at the end
surface breathes a relief

but the droplets

it looses its identity

I know you too
may be busy at some
looking it
ignoring the game of love and vaccum

but probably the throbbing heart
it catches the changing waves
around the cosmos
of the way of happenings

I do ask
whilst at work
may be its the only neutral relevance

but neutrality is the way of life

I ask too much of me

and your presence in the hearts of hearts

is that loving someone
that essential

may be
loving is good
for love sake only

but what do you want to imply
my own queries reverberate
with the another showers

I know its momentary

but moments are too good
bereft of definitions

while walking my way to metro
every eve I see around
too much of you lit large
but you instead already at your place

I wonder the equations
with my heart
and the live environs

is that the reality
too good enough

my own voice
it says
yes

I dare not ask
why

source::::::::::::!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!::::::::::::::::::::::