what I can.

I was thinking had you could have come out of the what should be said the factor of uncertain quotient of the sale ability concept you would have been with me by this time and may be you have done a better job . I am taking my time to get ready its nothing new.


when words
thoughts 
have failed to fetch
what
it means all

I have to start
walking 
the lanes
defined
meant
what I can 

daffodils smile
bereft
of what a word
can 
can not make
haughty may be
the shores
attires
its own

what I can 

known to you

my heart says
where could be you
can I know 
what could be
land marks
the GPS of mine
it works 
but not
what my heart
wants

it again says
I have not heard

what should I say

my heart believes
what is probably
known to you

akal bari ya fir bheins.

yes Deepika from now onwards I will be picking all calls on my mobile and persons who are allowed to put a call on my mobile are you yourself, navu, ricky, kiran and anu. And its a strictest possible warning that No body else should put a call else I should better keep quiet further because even now any body do a mischief then let the hell come on that one (s).The reason I have not mentioned names or say not allowed your mom and dad and sis is that there are endless cranks who may put dubious calls and let them suffer why you want to put names of your family. You call first and then give the mobile to your family but be sure your family means your family NO BODY ELSE UNDER ANY PRETEXT AND EVEN YOUR PERSONAL TO ME WILL BE YOUR PERSONAL CALL AND NO BODY CAN TAKE THAT CALL IN ANY MANNER WHAT SO EVER IT MAY BE OTHER THAN WHAT I TALK TO YOU. why I have put an explanation that many cranks like putin and your co stars may do mischievous acts  of many sorts .and when I talk to your family that will be for their personal consumption only that talk can not be taken by any crank sadistic putin and the like hell people are around.I hope then I should say akal bari ya fir bheins. Deepika if a message saying from Deepika that will exactly means your only and only your personal message other s are simply not allowed I dont think punjabi is that tough. Yes Deepika the hell broke upon kiran and anu via this methodology that dubious calls were made on my phone. NOW NATURALLY IF ANY BODY CALL S ME DUBIOUS AND MAKES HELL FOR ANY OF YOU 5 THAT HELL WILL FIRE BACK AUTOMATICALLY I need not put an explanation every time.Yes Deepika its simply heart breaking into pieces that I am living a kala pani life from say last 18 yrs. Kala Pani is the deadliest possible jail term in history. just search on google may be English peoples might have written truth.
yes heart simply melts if you can remember the whole tamasha or say OM SHANTI OM PLAYED IN THIS HOUSE ETC. YES ITS STARTING FROM 1989 AND ITS SIMPLY SO HORRIFIC THAT HOLLYWOOD SCRIPTS SIMPLY LOOK PALE eg in 1991 when a cell phone was sent to this house for trading the ladies and I was put to the severest possible of slavery which I have done it successfully even knowing everything absolutely clear. Nahi Deepika Its simply un liveable life . Probably you might have forgotten whole sequences. Or might be I missed to tell you. eg I used to wait for 6-8 hrs at railways stns roads air ports for all these beautiful peoples who number in hundreds. I used to use chetak scooter at 45 degree Celsius and used to ply air conditioned maruti for these beautiful peoples to fetch them to and fro from such destinations and then go back to office on my scooter as the beauty queen of the universe took all my money but not allowed that I may also be a human being like her beloved gods. similarly in biting chills. and after that I was tasked to love them in markets for fetching bloody what not and wait there for 15-20 hrs for their comfort. My heart simply squeezes to remember it bhai.Navu whom I loved and served in the same fashion was hell bound to send me to jail. Oof what should I tell you. 

all the time.

sometimes
I do ask
whether I am here for you
are
the smiles that fast 
hidden 
glowing 
fresh'n fresh

my heart opines

its not the way
you skirt me
so quiet

all the time 

My etios.

I hardly use my etios in Delhi. kiran is still kidnapped by her system. An Anu name is osama bin laden for me as the spies eyes are fixed with utensil s as my neighbors want to see even the threads of my underwear. Today I have to purchase a gift item as I am supposed to be on an official marriage party at TA (territorial Army ) hostel in Delhi cantt at 7.30 PM  tomorrow. I was thinking to have cuttlery items from Karol Bag and use the etios as its in my midway of commuting. Ranibagh I am not sure whether items can be there. I never ever like that a star of the film world is circumscribed by the system in such way that it becomes a bloody iron caged monkey as even Prime minister of Europe simply walk on road just un noticed by any body. Why Indian s can have a sense like. Security aspect is something you can it can be handled with a little common sense. And I have seen senior managers wiping there penus in front of the beauty queen of the universe and I dont think I have a bio physiology in my body politic whereby I will be having any bloody clutch and gear allignment problem of the cars of the gone by era of Indra in India howsoever Sonia is extremely intellectual in Parliament but once she said to her hubby that the only fear is that < I dont want to loose you > now see the music when hubby is not there it does not mean that she should loose even a common sense of the changed Time.
Inspite of my such letter I dont think you can afford to come as you really have to know how a runner do his job in army ( Indian ) only then you can match my whimsical way of life. 

So Warmth full

How should I know where are you, at least I am alone in my flat. One day I was posted in a office called QMG Coord , its a hi fi office probably you are not aware such jargon s. This was the time when I tried my last fag end effort to save the sinking boat but that is history now as the birds have flown to their destiny like you may be sipping some drinks with your favorites but I am made to believe that you are a lonely heart at your inner psyche and do not like bloody makhies but some how you show to the world that makhies are happening s only as it fetches dollars which quite naturally whole of the world is looking for as I am made to believe that people are ready to throw bloody nuclear bombs for dollar as their own currencies are bloody toilets as per their own chosen ways and mind set ups. Once such a day of my happening at this office a girl newly recruited LDC got posted in my office and I was Officer boss to every body howsoever my boss never liked me some Mr. Datt as I was horribly royal at work and never bothered to sir ji yei kar lo etc. I was extremely pleasant and warmth full with this girl too. I some how failed to notice that she has chosen a boyfriend in the same office and he was with my military boss Maj Gen (now, but Col at that time- lets not name him , he is nice and may not like so open talks. ) now, once such opening day of the day I was so warmth full that she felt as I dethroned the legacy of his boy friend. But it was very very late I could realise. After That I have made a point not be so warmth full.  

Deepika there is a horrible misconception about romance and love as such on earth in totality starting from individual s to mega scales say groups in groups social systems etc etc just to identify the nomenclatures vs its actual people , I will not preach over here, but who is yours he comes to you straight and who is not yours he makes alibi and existential hypo and hyper , now the point is how to identify who to move first and when and what etc. have you heard navita she asked me if I am available. My door gets opened the moment the knocker has a heart other than what I have explained.