if there is any emotion left to reckon with. Dec.20.2013.06.01 AM

Love
I have not written much at this sort of time I remember
but your this snap is that I have thought to put a love letter to you
I really don't know what you will do at such bullshit paparazzi letters

this is a time
when I used to rush to make toasts for ricky and navu
they were too hard pressed when left all alone to defend for themselves 
the mundane s emotions and harshest all put together

Ricky often used to say Dad every day these snacks
I used to goad him 
It is not possible to make other things

he politely accepted my versions

I used to go down stairs with them
looked for rikshaw
too hurried
sometimes it was not available at all
then I hurriedly used to pick maruti 800 to be in time

generally I used to see rickshaw

observe carefully till such time 
it lost a meaningful visible range

I know Bal  Bharti Public School Rohini Delhi is standing at that place only
where it stood earlier

some time s I see myself

and the words I am writing to you

and see
if there is any emotion left to reckon with  

I have no more ultimate powers with me they have gone with the winds. Dec.19.2013.22.15

Love
I have no more ultimate powers with me they have gone with the winds
now I am just a person of 54 yrs with my personal achieved know how 

its all mundane nothing super natural or metaphysical

I have cached your snap as usual

I have conceded myself a failed genius with my retirement date approaching like I failed in IAS exams
its only me who know the pains

slow poisoning of self with dejection 
and life long humiliation has been a stark reality till this day

I remember my failed worth as if I have received the result only today 

One day I was at Nainetal Khaziar , its called one of the tal of the 7 tals of this mountain ranges

I think its exact name is Bhimtal or something like that
I am talking of 1977
Every n anon spoke of you
and I was lost searching the opiating environs around me and looked sunita minhas instead
It was the month of Jan only
The waters looked too crystalline blue studded with the fragrance which I remember it was love only
I remember where ever you went I searched your path
Later on you were with your friends in Nainetal market 
I purchased a necklace with the pittance from my Dad
I always saw it in your neck
the market was too enigmatic your presence made it scintillating 
and again it was love only I am sure
Some how you agreed to my request to take a cup of coffee in a restaurant nearby
I remember You forgot how to sit in the pitch darkness of the interiors
Later on you were playing your game at a nearby grounds
I was lost at your moments of happenings

I do not know
whether I have written you a love letter
or something else

Man roya ardeia yaad kar kei apni kahni
na koi rah sujhei
bol hoei bemani

It has evolved from Deuteromycetes.Dec.17.2013. 21.58

Love
probably I could never find time to tell the mysteries of plant world and its direct link to earth living bioata you can think like.

Its  a long story and I may not be in a position to write even a small portion of it
I have generally said its the law makers who are the real criminals not criminals as such

Deuteromycetes is a kingdom of plant that tell the infinite shores of evolution of sex and its natural way occurrence
It is incidentally the most dreaded kingdom too for its horrible pathogenic properties and activities . But its the Nature most ever efficient scavengers too

Probably then come the advanced sciences of Bio and Bio related fields of Psychiatry etc
One is Gynecology and Psychology Sociology and the cauldrons of ethics and the like

I told you earth has yet to know its own Charles Darwin and his work . Probably no body has really worked after his work and has simply set aside his work as a bloody anarchy of science.

One is the instinct of mother hood
or you can say child bearing faculty of female

It has evolved from Deuteromycetes

I tell you darling there is not even bloody one scientist on earth who can tell how it is exactly and functional on ground reality.

I mean to say this instinct is a bloody vestigial organ that continued to be functional over the scale of evolution as read on the framework of  ibid faculties or streams of sciences I have referred to

Law make r s should keep the brains with them before bloody rushing to bring horrible laws as it simply destroy the basic purpose of life

but darling its such a wide topic that no body really want to work and rather want to occupy the seats of powers and earn bloody pennies 

I remember I have not eaten that taste of the food after that. Dec.16.2013.22.09

Love
I feel I have not written that hi fi English and the like at your snaps

sometimes I remember kiran snap s and my writing s on it , I wonder is it me really.

probably I do not know whom I love most , is it you, anu or kiran

may be your snap s evoke a lot too different world or so to say the scenario but I am really finding not proper words to express my self in this line.

probably I could have never remembered my Dad in that equation which I wished ; without you

I know you are not my Dad

No body can become my Dad except he himself
whose sweater is with me

you see love
simple words evoke what hi fi find difficult to tell

Any how

During Dad time submersible tube well technology was not available
Initially it was a digg out well with old style iron bucket s and a live stock to pull the pulley and the hub to fetch water outside its called rahat in chaste punjabi
I remember Dad maintained a huge number of live stock , buffaloes cows and the like. Buffalo w was a prized possession. Dad himself milch ed the animal farm you can feel like. He devised his own methods to look after such assets , He used to send Desi ghee to practically to all his near and dear ones. I have yet to know his nerves of affection and warmth. I was often surprised by the love his live stock gave to him or say offered to him you can feel like. He used to have some friends in dogs but not pet dogs as per modern terms of the meaning. He was too comfortable to first give some of the loafs to them while having his food.

One such eventful day. 
I remember it was summer days may be June only. I was a kid of say 3 yrs or so. Mom made vegetable of brinjal by roasting it in tan door then crushing by hand and then mixing it on fire with onion and ghee etc its called bharta in chaste punjabi. Mom made roti at her tandoor which was fired by the charia , I think I told you this word earlier too, Dad put three to four cots big ones in the angan after showering the sand with water. It was a full moon day. Moonlight looked as if modern Taj Mahal of love you can feel like. Then he asked me to bring some ice which was nicely kept in the husk drawn from his farm produce. I was told how to break it with a hand iron piece or you can feel like a poker of old vintage. I picked two pieces and went to Dad and offered my pittance he politely took it and washed it slightly with the water from the jug already kept by mom, Then he made a little small pieces to pour it in another big container that consisted of lassi the pakki one which is made from milk and sugar you can feel like. 

I remember I have not eaten that taste of the food after that.

Pakiza happened to a hit movie of those days.Dec.16.2013.20.54

Love
this letter is something to converse with you 
today in metro I was thinking why you do not feel impulsive to talk to me
its some thing too enigmatic
I have been told by many females are hardly exuberant with their own males
while they are all maska maro business with other males of different strata
I remember Dr. Manmohan Singh speech to the august gathering of IAS officers in Vigyan Bhawan
so is the speech of Atal Behari Vajpaei when he utters in poetic way Hindu kehlanei mei laz aati hei apni ma ko pahchanei mei lazza kis bat ki some thing like that
if one's mother is a prostitute its not a sin darling

Any how

whilst at my school days we used to go by say typical method of care free dudes 
Pakiza happened to a hit movie of those days
I have not seen it, may be I know it by a reflected memory of some one else

we used to stay at the sweet shop at around quarter to nine when the song "chaltei chalei...." was regularly played at full pitch you can feel like
Later on I was told the crushing reality of this bloody phenomenon
stage performance is something horribly psychiatric disorder
this stage can be of any order or type or connotation

I was told she , I mean to say the lead heroine, lived a pathetic fag end life. She literally begged for roti from her relatives with whom she stayed but they refused to understand that she is a human being

my heart this time squeezes like a wild rabbit. Dec.16.2013.02.02

Love
when I go to village
I negotiate a fresh complex scenario every time
you may not get any sense of this mundane non sense

its not your movie masala that can tell you the ground realities

I generally take medicine of different kinds
these are prescription drugs

you see laws are bloody non sense
it will take a whole hell to understand this simple English

peoples of similar or same equations who oblige you
they become the draconian pathetic ones
at the stroke of the time

or say major goels

some time I do wonder
isn't a huge risk involved to go to village
at such a petty issues

what will happen
at a major disaster

Will Deepika Padukone shall come running to help you

my heart this time squeezes like a wild rabbit