skip to main |
skip to sidebar
Love
my tube well in my land which Dad left for me is something you can know only when you will literally come here in Delhi and sit along with me may be in rear seat if you have a distaste to me to sit in co driver seat
I persuaded anu to accompany me to see that beautiful place I remember it was say one yr or so.
she could not get even a nano second glimpse of what I wished
whilst at way back it was a beautiful rural landscape and my speed was not more than a strolling you can feel like . I asked Manu to drive instead . After a few kilometers I requested Manu to have a halt as I know pissing is a bio logical necessity . His mom and Dad were probably too worried to know whereabouts of their kids may be they thought they have gone on a bloody kargil war.
Anu did not came out as she felt it s too un realistic to go in the wilds.
I know her mom maintains her bathroom extra clean
but love you have not sent your hand written letter as to when you are expected here with me in Delhi.
Love
have a nice time.
Love
If I recall back life has never been a rosy picture at village
but I always paint a rosy scenario to you
I remember one day mom was politely painful at her heart to notice that pahar jesa din pass karna bara aukha hei
it were the days of summer say June
Chandigarh is a city known for its beauty and seductive nerves which it imparts
but love
I have never been easy at Chandigarh too
probably you can come
my etios has stuck up in wait of you
but I know Darwin law
it takes 5 hrs to reach chandigarh
at least for some hrs I can fail Darwin law
Love
I really dont know how much I have been paraded naked or say auctioned by girls
some of them may be enjoying sex at this time
Any how
One nice day
whilst at panjab univ I was having a close friend Kamal Maheshwari
Archna Sharma who enjoyed her beautiful sex with him thought that relationship status is not possible if I am not weeded out
she planned a beautiful way
I was standing at Shimla mall road near scandal point and asked a shop keeper to give 5 star chocolate way back in 1977, I asked for another piece on sighting archna to be standing closet to me , it was an excursion tour organised by Kashyap Hall
after a few days of consistent chanakya niti she persuaded to thrash me with the help of this my beautiful friend on the grounds of allegations that I have picked her hand,.
I still remember Sushil Kapoor brother of Reema Kapoor who knew all this in advance never cautioned me . Sushil happened to know this in advance as the 2nd assaulter some Talwar his close associate , he literally explained their plan to him well in advance say a couple of days or so
when my mom expired
I was standing at my fate and did not realise that earthen people do not forget their non sense even at the cremation grounds.
I accidentally sat close set to a person who is father in law of eldest daughter of my sister.
my brother in law literally asked me to leave the close set space so that he can prove his bloody status by sitting close to that bloody professor
this professor has a daughter who is married to a doctor in sirsa and is doing gynecology private practice at sirsa
she was asked to see my material worth by her own mother and brother to see if this bloody oldy can fit the lady Diana possessed beauty of hers
I was rejected like a bloody rolling stone
I was attending ASC core meet day headed by Gen Gupta , and sponsored by Col Hari Shanker
I took maximum possible Vodka to fit to the taste of the armed hierarchy
I was ordered by my most revered brother in law to attend the marriage of ibid doctor at sirsa
I woefully followed the order and drove straight to sirsa and reached by 12 at night
people of family were waiting me because I had a car so that I can drop them at village at that early morning itself.
Today I was ordered by my major Goel the most efficient managing director in principle of the armed forces to go to DAVP on foot so that I can consider the farmer status of officers lobby
I woefully followed his orders
my new shoes have literally sliced my feet as I did not expect such a foolish order on the new shoes with me
late evening Navy General paraded his starred office car so that I should not Love you
लिखी भाग्य में जितनी बस उतनी ही पाएगा हाला,
लिखा भाग्य में जैसा बस वैसा ही पाएगा प्याला,
लाख पटक तू हाथ पाँव, पर इससे कब कुछ होने का,
लिखी भाग्य में जो तेरे बस वही मिलेगी मधुशाला।
Love
one fine day it was raining intermittently
Dad asked to keep inside to obviate catching bad health.
It was sometime in 1959
I remember I was sitting beside Dad cot with sweet roti in my hand which mom made in her kachha kitchen which was adjoining to the living room but showers did wet on venturing to go to mom chullah fired by woods or say twigs of cotton plant which Dad called chatia in his chaste punjabi way of speech
I do not remember when night made us all asleep and in the morning Dad went to his farm assignments . Dad was too punctual without any watch to get up at around 4 O' clock in the morning.
I remember a mango plant was sprouting where the kachha nalha of the house roof top showered the rainy water whole the time
2nd day morning I inquired Dad why that beautiful sprouting vanished from its place.
Dad was not so quick in his reply and keenly observed the point where I was pointing to
Dad whispered may be snake has eaten the tasty buddy plant.
Love
I will not be writing any meaningful letter today
I came to sirsa town in 1966 and got admission in RSD High School with the help of my senior whilst mom shifted to our old house in Mohalla Dhobian much earlier to look after sis and others. Dad was left all alone
Only today I have come to know
why Dad lived such a lonely life.
I get a flash back and my brain tells Dad was all alone all the time
Mom was only a fair season friend of my Dad
I become more alone when I remember my Dad
I have taken the sweater of Dad from the trunk
its lying in another room
may be I will take a snap of it and post it on this page
I know
you can have guts to come to see me but I will try to show my love to you
I know I am a good typist and probably time made me so in spite of my infinite worth I am a failed genius and every body is happy to give me less salary
Dad used to come to sirsa on weak ends but not that frequent
probably I have kept my Dad way of life intact
I come to my this flat every evening
but you are not available in any of the rooms
I remember Dad used to be very pleasant at his moods but his kid s failed him at every corner of life so he probably somehow learned to live a silent life
Later on Dad used to come on some special days only eg Diwali
I came to know Dad had no relevance of festival s
as his all festivals gone waste with winds
Love
One day may be in the year 1963 or so
my village not connected with any communication worth the name
vehicular traffic was on rowdy kachha roads and on such paths studded with dunes of say my own height
Dad used to send two tractors , one for dragging the trolley of grains etc and other to assist the main tractor at too frequent breakdowns and stuck ups in the shifting sands even then it was a journey of luck all the time and distance being hardly 10- 12 kilometers to the nearby sleepy market as sirsa was literally out of reach during those eventful days.
Dad tried his best to send his all kids , his own ones and others in his supra family system for education but all the bastards proved that they are the bloody blood suckers nothing else
When I completed my pg level at my univ I often wondered why Dad could not afford to come to see me
One day I thought let us meet ricky
I have been to Chandigarh too frequent
one day I was sitting at CHD bus stand shivering in merciless cold
ricky failed to come to meet me and I waited whole day
late evening I decided to put stay at bust stand may this winter can prove a point
but love
winter has come
you are no where with me
Dad came to see me when navu was born
it was in sector 7
I have a torn out sweater of Dad
come I will show you
Love
when you will come to meet me
you see these days scenario is quiet different
what I generally paint
whilst pen downing my love to you
crushing reality
failing relevance
ephemeral connotations
these are few words only
its something
as if you may find too enigmatic to sound of
I have spent numerous hours of mine
anu and kiran know me very well
I have yet to know
is there any thing
my shadows taunt me
as the sun takes its own laugh
I have painted
a crushing reality
you may find
not worth to decipher
and to live with
my heart says
darlin
don't put me
in further bad shape
