PINES SMILES AT RAJPATH..Dec,31.10,12.20AM

I am afraid of love
"mughei pyar sei dar lagta he"

I was negotiating the hectic traffic on Vijaychowk
Army buses waited the people in dress to come and push off fast as the VIP movement suddenly came crashing on the surrounding

I took fast steps to avoid embarrassment to the security people

but suddenly stoped afterwords

I was not at all interested who is that VIP that happened to throng here at this hr of rush and fast catche' of the evening close up

I am afraid of love
my heart was repeatedly pulling me up

I didn't bother to reply

now my steps stopped on expanse of lawns beautifully maintained to put extra glamour to the happening site for millions

the reverberated sound of my heart resonated in the stratosphere

"I am afraid of love"

I kept silent

are you fool enough: you are not listening to me : my heart pulled me up

suddenly I found the whole passage was diverted owing to Republic day ceremony preparations

I have managed this expanse too many time whilst on security duty

my heart again pulled me up: are you bullshit damn deaf and dummy around

I was instead lost in the fragrance of the environs
my focused eyes on India Gate
It appeared like a profusely dressed up bride

I pondered how many brides have lost their love to fetch this happening day to me

my heart was asking his stupid questions too intermittently

suddenly I got annoyed

I retorted back

can't you see
every body was afraid of love
whilst they scarified all

damn it : don't teach me the history of nationalities

Now I listened to my heart

but by this time
it got evolved to that extent

yes love
I appreciate
Love is only meant for loosing

and love lives in ghost entities

probably that is the right place of its existence

my heart was self satiated

but now I was looking the blues

why I am afraid of love
I asked me instead

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PINES SMILES AT RAJPATH..30,Dec.10.7.27PM

the day went to the tunes of twisty twirly rhythms of work

with whims of self devised oasis
whilst the mirage continued to play the roost of toughest reality

I remembered the cosy times spent with my acquaintance transformed to sweet heart
ground reality crunch didn't budge at all

I fought with streams of reality equations

the dwindling strength of spirits with me

gaining strength at another moment
with vengeance of my nerves

the struggle is infinite
I know

my lonely heart and hardy nerves will never accept defeat

but I do wonder

what I have to do

whom to give my sides

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PINES SMILE AT RAJPATH WITH VENGEANCE..11.37PM.27,Dec.10

the day ended with a usual tone of preparedness for the next morning hrs
its nothing new in my Army environs

I was slow and pausing too frequent as if I didn't wish to come to my home

I suddenly felt the fragrance of trees was too penetrating
the rustic attire of Her is a bliss
I know this since my univ days

but what made the moments so special

I didn't pull my nerves to act
the spirit of monotonous entity refused to budge at all

my steps and me
they are accustomed to roam around vijay chowk
the happenings ulma mater
people throng to get the taste of their love one

some of the plants appeared to wish me something special

my dud nerves brushed aside their gestures

I crossed the royal expanse
with no inkling of special moments

my heart did sleep over the itinerary
of the chores

I realised
I was getting fresh fragrance from own aura
whilst being too busy at my work during whole of the day

I did wonder
I have not applied any special perfume

what makes my system to feel like rouwolfia
or say magnolian beauty lit large

A senior Col of forces asked me to sign the papers
of the previous day finished work

I thought army officers are used to such fragrance

but this was throughout the day

I came at my this pc

suddenly found
the fragrance was oozing out

I still wonder
how this fragrance walked along me
to that extent

source: my special heart

PINES SMILE WITH VENGEANCE.10.02PM.Dec.25.10

pyar" keisa hota hei
how does love look like


my heart asks me
I stop my tears
I know it would like too stupid

I was walking as usual at the Rajpath whilst vijay chowk was already shadowed with thick blanket of fog
I could realise the shining border lines

as if the lord has to come and say something

may be I am too afraid of love

the reasons are abysmally simple
IF hurt feels are weakening me
as day passes

I don't look like a weakened stuff

but my heart asks

what will you do with the strength

I search every nanon of my happenings

work equations laugh at me

and say
what will you after we expire our innings

I smile
but fights remain intact

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PINES SMILES WITH VENGEANCE..5.02AM,25thDec.10

me and my environment
often ask each other

the questions are asked in cipher language

I have learned this language at my Army experience
but the hearts wavelengths
No body can have depth of the things around

its even beyond the expertise of psychiatry
howsoever smart and manoeuvre able the doctor may be

but what it pertains to

its not that things are painted in rosy

life remains intact in normal ways around

the meaning and equations change a billionth

but how to know the things in between the lines

its simply beyond the understanding of a normal brain

stars shine as usual
but the shine of love is different
so is the life around

the fragrance of the environs
its takes the warmth
hitherto inexperienced by the mundanes

normal mundane brain may call it simply foolish
but its the other way round
on the reality aspects of this exotic existence

its not that it involves any possession
in either way
its rather the contrary

but it gives you all
in return

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PINES ARE SMILING ON RAJPATH contd.Dec.21.10.10.58PM

hitherto fore I never realised that I am loved by such exotic hearts who enthused me to write and have a meaning of life so vacuous otherwise to the extent I see the horizon and ask myself who the person are you


I was conversing to Neha Mehta and found myself to be as if living on another planet of exotica

I was writing like a robot and probably she wondered how to respond to this spoilt genius

I know my end of know how is horrible to an equation whereby I have to stop myself with psychiatric medicines

but I love to love my sweet hearts

my heart asks where are you all alone

I get caught by the penetrating question of my heart

I look for
but what is that

today late evening as I crossed the vijay chowk
it was a scintillating scene all around

the lights were putting extra glamour to the landscape around

I did ask myself
such an exotic place
and you remain so desolate and dejected

but why so

probably I have no reply

I search where my love has got lost

but what is my love
I fail to understand myself

the quest goes on relentlessly

and I find in another quagmire
to know myself
and my love

source: Neha .C Mehta

PINES ARE SMILING AT RAJPATH..Dec.20.10.5.00AM

I could not feel the real love feelings for the last 20yrs or so

my univ did tel me what this word stands for
but it could not put me a reality quotient
probably it didn't have the powers to that extent

I was conversing live ( a rare bliss for me ) with one of my sweet hearts

I read the whole conversations too much repeatedly

the purpose was to know : what and where the love has been lost

this word is really exotic to truest form

you simply can't love if you wish
it comes to you of its own

but if it comes in any form : its the epitome of god : probably the rarest bliss one can have

I traverse my short distance at Rajpath everyday
with a thought full brain and empty hands
in a quest to know of my own self

and its the toughest aspect to know your own self

but I do it repeatedly
as this has proved the greatest challenge at my front of happenings

looking for the rainbow
whilst I know its too ephemeral

why my thoughts look sane
I ask too much of me

I visualise as if my life is burning to end
without a purpose at all

I ask myself
who is your love

and are you sure
it will realise you at all

I have no reply at all

so my questions remain empty
till the other day and night
evening too

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