well you have asked a solution out of the mess : I will say I have been in this mess till my memory goes ; the lonely walls and lonely ways probably that are the solutions. 

you want to know why : It is a combination of brute forces of ground reality applied for obvious pathetic reasons. 

Deepika in certain matters you are zillion times lucky : I know you have psychiatric ailments emanating from public exposure syndrome ( you dont know this hi fi science, neither your doctors know it - I am not elaborating for obvious reasons. ) But if you feel that what I told you I have not understood why thousands of peoples fought with me a proxy war of hatred and a proxy war of love, Love this war ( both inclusive i.e war of hatred and war of love ) seems to have no end. 

I wonder at my own making

when I feel driven to the wall
my heart often says
lets go somewhere

where the stingy world is not there
open the sky
fresh air comes
clouds may come


I wonder at my own making

Who the hell can challenge my love and me

when sun takes its shades
I walk steadily and slow
sometimes my steps ask
where we have to go

I keep my calm
I know 
home is an exotic word

I have searched 
frequently at my heart

You are my love

I often ask
why a conformity 
its the buzz word
cutting through
the generation gap

May be
I reply myself
its another way
to put the thumbs
ups and down

I have seen
green grasses
it looks too young

blossom is thy word

asks my heart

Life is not a poem at all but still I am writing for you , may be I can take a little longer time.