I take a deep breath .26.06.2015

my heart often asks 
why monotony and crunch
its the buzzword

I ask instead
love
you happen to be around 
a place
love happens at the hearts

it retorts
what the hell
I can do with the stuff around
least related to me

I take a deep breath

see the horizon

when my heart 
can make a sense

there is no one for 
the winds it search

day and night
eveningful 

I am writing what exactly my medicine does : prothiaden is bio chem that lifts the soul plus makes brain sleep and puts an invisible curtain around the heart to make it comfortable , its effect is for some 8 hrs, alprex is an anti anxiety one but it works in tendom with the basic medicine. I am avoiding hi fi science related aspects as it are not needed by you. But the medicine antidep is not workable with me as it creates another problem when an unexplained uneasy feels are there.

my this unbelievable legal knowledge is not a bullshit easily earned degree but I have literally lived fighting and negotiating laws throughout my service tenure, I dont want to exaggerate but seriously you dont know abc of laws except what you can feel like of the media hype around you and money plus your carrier around it. 

probably inspite of you being horribly intelligent of time , you are not aware of personal laws and laws governing a government servant, in nut shell you can live with me but without any legal title , it may storm your brain but laws are so blind I dont feel you have even an idea of it.

life of a celeb eg yours, is not practically that much known to me but the struggle factor and related psychiatric paradigm is science only which I need no help to know it at first hand , I daily take my medicine , I know if you will be with me this medicine will continue but I may gain a strength to live.

I was thinking is it really that my letters have some relevance for you or you just click but then I feel may  be it is a phase of my vacuity only when my heart visualizes a life whilst the reality is stone made. 

historic blunders let not be in defining mood, lets hope your professional constraints may someday allow you to be with me. That's what I am looking for all the time and space with me, rest lets not define how I live my life.