FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..March.1,11.7.59 PM

Today it was a different day
my boss came to me and said how r u Ahuja Sir: I said good morning sir: its fine with me: he replied how come you took leave on 24th ,(he knows I don't take leave as I have nothing to do except my office work). I replied nothin sir, some time normal dose of medicine doesn't work as I am surrounded by stupids all around and somehow double dose becomes super extra dose. He simply laughed as he understands the things around: Its fine take care and do tel me if I can do something for you:

I wondered how my technique worked so fast.

Today he worked like a real genius around. I was happy but my heart is a bullshit thin.

its a spoilt child: always looking for tophies say chocholate etc.

I can not bring its chocholates : I know this

but I knew I have won the game

challenges are simply nothing for me : I am too too used to it.

but my heart interrupted : hell !! with your prowess

I do realise its weakness

Nature never gives what you really deserve but nonetheless it gives you all instead which you hardly think of.

source : Neha c.Mehta

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..Feb.28,11.4.58 AM

Today is a working day as usual

but I have not been awakened by the crunch of work

I'm too too tough nut at my work place
its simply impossible for any hardest environ of work equation that can make me sick

but I do become sick of my own making

I wish I could not have been so

some times I observe my Army officers
there is no need for me to ask any question to them

There's hardly anything which escapes me

I got refreshed by one of Neha c Mehta her own expression at her page only meant for herself

otherwise fighting every moment is just another meaning of me

I wished I could have put my wishes at her pages
my constrained nerve prevented me

there was something which prevented me for that intended wish
otherwise Neha c mehta is my favorite inspiration
one day , I know she will be put in such time frame whereby time will become obsolete

my time equations run too fast

but my heart asks too much

I simply say
I can not dare challenge time

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..Feb.27,11.8.18 PM

I have just taken my psychiatric medicine: a simple naked truth with me: I will go to sleep under its effect after say 45 minutes. I know its effect will dilute by just before 2.AM and I will be left to negotiate my tsunami of self created vacuum. I do come to a feeling to talk to you when you cross your inhibitory quotient to come on line ,visible. My heart asks just talk to her. I love her too much. I know I love her too much. But my love is simply not understood at any level of cognisance of know how. May be I've crossed the scientific know how itself. I don't know. I may look too schizophrenic or neurotic may be psychotic. But why I am putting these words over here. I know many psychiatry awakened have to read my this love letter. I simply want to confuse them . Reason is very simple. No science can understand me. As I myself don't understand me, I know this is also a psychiatric disorder in itself.

but I am happy that no one is there to bully me. Some times living alone is a bliss. Otherwise too I simply don't like anyone around me. Again the reason is simple. I simply don't love any one. But my heart asks then whom you love. I only say : I don't know. It gets annoyed. I really don't know how to pacify my heart. I simply tel : even if I engage my sweet heart to talk to me : it makes no difference. The cruel reality is constant fact with me. I do make such efforts to change it.

Probably I am made just to fight with my nerves and remain busy

sometimes at my work
another at my vacuum

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..Feb.27.11, 11.14 AM

monotony of my heart
and my docile environs

I make every nanosecond
full of relevance

with a gist full of thoughts

but my heart
it simply brushes aside
all what I have made so assiduously

I hardly know
how to please this spoilt devil

I was reading one of the pages
once relevant to me
now its practically obsolete
as the time has run too fast
what I could catch of it

I do wonder
why the stupid like me
exists on the swampy soils

where there is no need of any worth

I recally my horrific bio know how

the reply is equally horrific

I skirt to know
my own reality

my colleague seniors often laugh at me
sir, your biggest enemy is your knowledge only

I do accept it
but my brain simply differs

my heart says
what the hell you can do
you have lost
what I aspire for
with this bullshit thing you have got

I struggle hard
to please my heart

every day and night

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..Feb.27,11.1.19.AM

one day Nanak was sleeping with his feet towards the masjid of Makka etc. A muslim clergy came and said don't you stupid realise that you can not sleep whilst your feet put towards the holy masjid of Makka. etc etc. Guru Nanak replied look man !! I am too too tired ! can you pull my legs to a direction where you feel your coveted masjit is not there. The man tried his best. but the masjid direction simply moved with the direction of feet of Nanak. He realised his worth and begged for pardance.

I will not write here the gist: as its hidden one

but I can write who has got boosted his ego to pulverize his dubious conscience to thwart the love forces can simply get another dare devil genius reply when the need is felt.

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..Feb.27,11.12.10

when the rival groups of Mahabharta war of righteousness was just to unfold itself. Both the groups were searching their best to entice the coveted warriors. Lord Krishna was representing the pandwa side. A man known as Barbarik appeared on the scenario of war front. Lord krishna and others after getting news of his worth immediately went to this man. Lord asked Well!! can your goodness tel us from which side you will fight. He replied from the side which happened to loose the war. Lord realised his ultimate powers. The Lord said okay then your good self can tel us about your prowess: He said I can simply pierce all the leaves of a tree with one arrow (ordinary one.), which he proved whilst krishna kept one under his feet, and astonishingly it was also pierced. Lord realised all. He one fine day begged his head in disguise. He obliged the lord as he knew Krishana is a god. He said atleast I should be given a chance to see the war. Lord put head on a tree. When the war ended, Arjuna believed he did all. Krishna asked his head what he saw. He said I only saw the sudarshna chakra ( weapon of the lord krishna) cutting the heads . Lord krishna blessed his life again and said you will be remembered after my name and equal to me til eternity. Now this man is known as Shri Khadushriram ji and his temple is in Seekar District of Rajasthan.

but why I wrote whole of the story here:

the gist is: inspite of your infinite powers your wish of your love remains at the hands of the almighty.

here Barbarik love was his wish to make the loosing party to win.

FLOWERS OF RAJPATH..Feb.26.11.8.35PM

yesterday I just put my steps as usual
but my deviated path
my heart asked where are you going

my streamy thoughts took a break
the pines of Rajpath
they simply said
how are you

I know plants speak
not only with each other
but with the enviorns too

I asked instead
do you feel
I am a part of your environment

they replied in reverberated tone
that's the only truth

I saw some of the pine cones
they were sending their messages

their wavelengths
which I only can decipher

but I didn't stop

just waiving a reciprocal way
as I do at my office

I hardly engage anyone
in prolonged discussion

the reason is too simple

my heart remains obsessed with his love

and me

just lost to understand

what my heart wants


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