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my heart is divided into two parts
just like Pakistan and India
previously it was one only
my love finding quotient became too hot point
the heat generated was too intense
it simply divided my heart
the twins are at logger heads all the time
one is extremely positive, euphoric, childish, optimistic and adventuristic
the other is dud too negative, pessimistic stuff, always weeping like a poorly developed child, exactly like cosmic black whole that absorbs my happiness so generated with assiduous efforts, its a real evil with me
but I have to live with the both
as they have one common factor too
both of them love my love
and I can not live without my love
now it means
I have to choose between the devil and deep ocean
I hope one day
my love shall come
define the parameters
peace and romance may return
but til then my fights shall never stop
\
but I really don't know
the time line of my love
I do wonder
at the constraints of my live world around
and simply hibernate my time
to tide over the traumatic times with me
source::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
when my know how talks to me like you could have
my eternal questions come flashing
I know science can go to the extent of making electronic life come replace the bio life in its entirety
this may look like too foolish
but I know its not that
just like I often say I love you and find the resonating waves of my heart
the question takes another twisty twirly
would that electronic life be blessed with heart and brain to that extent
the reply is absolute yes
Now my dearest Neha will simply laugh at the commonsense of choosing her snap to that fantasy
but the reality is like that only
she will definitely ask : can you define the time line
reply is simply No.
but why I'm so obsessed with that professy of science at this page and time
I remember the lead heroin of kalidas abhigyanshakuntalam
she asked clouds to go to ujaani (the capital of the king, now Ujjain if I remember correct but I think another name is there on the map of India.) and ask and feel my love (the king.) that your love simply misses you like the world around
Now she will again laugh at the combinations of thoughts
but I have not finished my writing as yet.
she is first person who evoked the writing habit in my scientific brain to the extent that today I ask my clouds to go to that place where my love is pulsating her life and tel the ibid thoughts
but I know
this will never occur
she will definitely ask why so pessimistic thoughts
my reply is
I have not defined the time line for the electronic life come true more than equal to that of bio life what we see around today
she will say again: I have not understood what I really want to convey
I will say
nothin
have a nice time
source: Neha c. mehta. , Kiran and anu, Dr. pankaj . bansal
I was trying to put my best efforts to draft a reply
this was something regarding under right to information act
my heart suddenly asked
what is your right to information act
my running pencil didn't stop
but my eyes became wet
my senior was just observing me
he is more than a friend to me
he asked as follows:
Ahuja sir you think that we are fool around sitting here to have a cup of tea with you: can't you share something with us
I took my time to soak off my eyes
as its a bio process
my draft was ready and I put the pencil down
he said what makes your pencil stop
I replied : nothing sir : I have covered all the intricacies and will submit to my senior if he is convinced or not
damn it: I am not asking that you're less genius to your boss
I replied : sir will you take a cup of hot tea as I feel like that
he stared at me but kept mum
both of us were aware of our silence.
I saw through my window panes as the scene outside seemed too romantic
but I do not know
where are you these days
source: shipra.v and :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
when you are fast asleep
I am awakened to the time
at my hand
its not that its a rare thing with me
none of us can escape
the happening coincidence may variate to the infinite
the landscape of my happenings
guarded to the teeth at this moments
I do know the terrorists have a cause
but life ways matters
kaleidoscope of our happenings
Armed forces have the most docile hearts
but the strength of their nerves is known to the privileged ones
I do ask myself
is it the fights of hearts
or the nerves
may be none
the conflicts emanate from the system
driven by such aspects
no body have actual control
I do ask at the same breathe
do my love has that constraint
the reply is absolute yes
but who is my love
probably god has yet to carve out its plans
I see the environs
feel the pulse
not only of the live world
but the sands too
as I know
I can make sand dunes of my love
only to be blown away
at the mercy of the winds
but who creates such winds
definitely not god
but my question remains unanswered
I know that
so is my love
source: Neha c.mehta, kiran and anu,Dr pankaj.b
this time the environs where I fight my moments
lit large with monotony & happening of the power equations
put together
this beauty queen reminds me
never get tired
fight the system
to the finish
particularly those
who have destroyed your heart
A soldier is meant to die unheard
least understood
the tethering pains he went through
at the last laugh of his conscientiousness
I do know
the vicious circle of agonies
made all around
with conspiracies
laden with sweets of the worlds around
but I do realise the system constraints
then whom to target
your own self
of the environs
the best replies
that comes from the aura of this snap
give a damn to whole hell
live your own life
never expect whatsoever
from the dearest ones
defined to torture your
the inner most
life is what you are
see the mirror
love yourself
forget whether
you have smart or ugly looks
the righteous pathways
give a damn bullshit rejection
to the infinite
who have hurt your feels
so pious
sacred the last threads
never ever repent
send the value system to the dustbin
as its not only you
who have to take burden
of the whole hell around
source: this article is meant to went off my hurt feels evoked by my own daughter., but inspiration is neha c.mehta
me any my heart
they hardly see eye to eye
I do wonder what is the hell around
why my fights can't end
Is it. I am meant for fighting all the way around
their are no ammunition, least defined enemies but with infinite fronts that are active round the clock
is that the real life
I loose my sense of normalcy
Is it my psychiatry know how is bullshit damn thing around
but I know I am residing at the other end of the world
but why I fail to realize
that is the way of life
why I get perturbed that much
one thing is certain
I have no fighting partner with me
that part is the triggering of defeats all around
and my fighting spirit simply never accepts the defeat
who are my enemies
I ask too much of mine
but find
at the fag end
Its me
me and me
no body else
but why I can't realize
the enemy hidden at my psyche
I really don't know
how to target this enemy
and destroy it
with the ultimate know how that I possess
I try and try
but failure waites for
at every another second
I still stand up
starts fighting
some time
day and night
they feel jealous of me
but I hardly get accomplishment at that
source: kiran and Anu Malhotra, Pankaj Bansal
my work alcoholism has induced practical psychiatric disorders in my psyche
psychiatry otherwise advises to remain busy
that is a fact beyond contest quotient
busy life is not a friend
its a foe in need
one day a saint went to Kailash Parwat to bet the bliss of lord Shiva. He did get Him because of his arduous efforts. Lord Shiva wanted to pay him some gift of a real worth. He picked up three hand full of ashes of his eternal lit fire Owen . He offered with utmost respect to the man. And the person also accepted in equal respect. On way back he saw a river with thunderous flow of waters, it made him think that lord has given me ashes: bullshit the insane god:he threw the ashes in the water and suddenly saw it turned into precious stones with glitters equal to that of Sun. The person went back to the Lord to pay his sorry feels and repentance at nerves.: hoping that Lord will again bless him with the same. Lord asked the person I had already given you what I had with me.
the daily chores and me
the eternal with constraints
I do realise
the pinch of the man
but the reality is something different
I hardly know
who I am
the lord or the man
source:::::::::::kiran malhotra.
my heart is divided into two parts
