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me any my heart
they hardly see eye to eye
I do wonder what is the hell around
why my fights can't end
Is it. I am meant for fighting all the way around
their are no ammunition, least defined enemies but with infinite fronts that are active round the clock
is that the real life
I loose my sense of normalcy
Is it my psychiatry know how is bullshit damn thing around
but I know I am residing at the other end of the world
but why I fail to realize
that is the way of life
why I get perturbed that much
one thing is certain
I have no fighting partner with me
that part is the triggering of defeats all around
and my fighting spirit simply never accepts the defeat
who are my enemies
I ask too much of mine
but find
at the fag end
Its me
me and me
no body else
but why I can't realize
the enemy hidden at my psyche
I really don't know
how to target this enemy
and destroy it
with the ultimate know how that I possess
I try and try
but failure waites for
at every another second
I still stand up
starts fighting
some time
day and night
they feel jealous of me
but I hardly get accomplishment at that
source: kiran and Anu Malhotra, Pankaj Bansal
my work alcoholism has induced practical psychiatric disorders in my psyche
psychiatry otherwise advises to remain busy
that is a fact beyond contest quotient
busy life is not a friend
its a foe in need
one day a saint went to Kailash Parwat to bet the bliss of lord Shiva. He did get Him because of his arduous efforts. Lord Shiva wanted to pay him some gift of a real worth. He picked up three hand full of ashes of his eternal lit fire Owen . He offered with utmost respect to the man. And the person also accepted in equal respect. On way back he saw a river with thunderous flow of waters, it made him think that lord has given me ashes: bullshit the insane god:he threw the ashes in the water and suddenly saw it turned into precious stones with glitters equal to that of Sun. The person went back to the Lord to pay his sorry feels and repentance at nerves.: hoping that Lord will again bless him with the same. Lord asked the person I had already given you what I had with me.
the daily chores and me
the eternal with constraints
I do realise
the pinch of the man
but the reality is something different
I hardly know
who I am
the lord or the man
source:::::::::::kiran malhotra.
me and my heart
twin sides of an airplane
none can survive single
but why we have separate energy sources
I walk with my steps
smiles on my lips
but too silent
like my twin sources
who drives me
and why
why I fly at all
and for which direction
I ask at my lonely moments
I dive with crazy twists
whilst I remain too calm
at the same time
what is this
with me
so hidden
till known
but why I fail to make sense out of
my flights
too accurate
to the finish
\
but
what is my finish line
I ask too much of mine
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I wonder
who is more spoilt lot
me or my heart
when I want to sleep
my heart wakes up
ask me millionth questions
I have adopted too many techniques
offer hot chocolate fudge to my child heart
It relishes
but ask for more
when I fetch cookies
it says
damn it
who has asked you for that
I really get aghast
what it wants
it says too much
I speak too little
I am fed up with its nonsense around
I run my speed pedals
to give it a euphoric feels
it suddenly puts the breaks
all around
I stand staring at myself
what stuff I have with me
whom it really wants
it hardly tells its choice
but makes me feel
restless all the way
I visualise
its something else
but what it is that
it says
you fool
you can't get an edge of my ways
I put my hands
feel if
whether something exists at all
source::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
me and my steps
talk and walk together
but in crossing directions
leaving me to defend my self
as the heats of fights crush me
over and over again
neither I budge
nor their fights end
every morning and eves too
the struggle remains intact
shapes takes twisty twirly
I have made sand dunes to make me fit to the environs
around and inside me
moments come and crush me mercilessly
I wake up like a ghost
out of the blue
wonder
why and for what I am fighting
why I can't leave my steps
and myself too
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when the northern hemisphere is shivering under the storms of cold
my heart is sizzling hot
it asks me
why we love at all
why we seek warmth of love
why we can not achieve the ultimate relevance, happenings and happiness
without the love being within and around
why we don't feel satiated with accomplishment without love
I replied
yes love is not essential
It fires back
damn fool you are big lier
I do get annoyed at its unsavory words
it asks
damn it
tell me the ultimate science of love
I explain as follows
love is the net outcome of the physiological genomic environment threshold working with the basic principles of psychological aspects of perception, realisation , internalisation and actualisation.
It laughs endlessly
at the fag end of its laughter
it says
you are bullshit spoilt genius
I see the blues
I do wonder
but why I love my love
when I know so so much
source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::
by the time you went to sleep
I was confronting the waives
some mine
the others simply come crashing
I see the smiling hearts
get the resonating aura
to enthuse your love
but I have still to know
what this love stands for
I have fought and fought til date
the end less fighting frontier
my heart has lost contact with me
my nerves stands like a great strength with me
I laugh at both
the heart is meant for tender
so it left me too often
I know it shall come back
as it realises
my warmth
which it fails to find
wherever it happens to be
but til date
I am wanderer lost
in the quest to know
and fight
but hardly aware of
for what
this fighting is going on
with no ammunitions visible
may be
my war frontiers
it have evolved to space age
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me any my heart
