PINES SMILES WITH VENGEANCE..5.02AM,25thDec.10

me and my environment
often ask each other

the questions are asked in cipher language

I have learned this language at my Army experience
but the hearts wavelengths
No body can have depth of the things around

its even beyond the expertise of psychiatry
howsoever smart and manoeuvre able the doctor may be

but what it pertains to

its not that things are painted in rosy

life remains intact in normal ways around

the meaning and equations change a billionth

but how to know the things in between the lines

its simply beyond the understanding of a normal brain

stars shine as usual
but the shine of love is different
so is the life around

the fragrance of the environs
its takes the warmth
hitherto inexperienced by the mundanes

normal mundane brain may call it simply foolish
but its the other way round
on the reality aspects of this exotic existence

its not that it involves any possession
in either way
its rather the contrary

but it gives you all
in return

source::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

PINES ARE SMILING ON RAJPATH contd.Dec.21.10.10.58PM

hitherto fore I never realised that I am loved by such exotic hearts who enthused me to write and have a meaning of life so vacuous otherwise to the extent I see the horizon and ask myself who the person are you


I was conversing to Neha Mehta and found myself to be as if living on another planet of exotica

I was writing like a robot and probably she wondered how to respond to this spoilt genius

I know my end of know how is horrible to an equation whereby I have to stop myself with psychiatric medicines

but I love to love my sweet hearts

my heart asks where are you all alone

I get caught by the penetrating question of my heart

I look for
but what is that

today late evening as I crossed the vijay chowk
it was a scintillating scene all around

the lights were putting extra glamour to the landscape around

I did ask myself
such an exotic place
and you remain so desolate and dejected

but why so

probably I have no reply

I search where my love has got lost

but what is my love
I fail to understand myself

the quest goes on relentlessly

and I find in another quagmire
to know myself
and my love

source: Neha .C Mehta

PINES ARE SMILING AT RAJPATH..Dec.20.10.5.00AM

I could not feel the real love feelings for the last 20yrs or so

my univ did tel me what this word stands for
but it could not put me a reality quotient
probably it didn't have the powers to that extent

I was conversing live ( a rare bliss for me ) with one of my sweet hearts

I read the whole conversations too much repeatedly

the purpose was to know : what and where the love has been lost

this word is really exotic to truest form

you simply can't love if you wish
it comes to you of its own

but if it comes in any form : its the epitome of god : probably the rarest bliss one can have

I traverse my short distance at Rajpath everyday
with a thought full brain and empty hands
in a quest to know of my own self

and its the toughest aspect to know your own self

but I do it repeatedly
as this has proved the greatest challenge at my front of happenings

looking for the rainbow
whilst I know its too ephemeral

why my thoughts look sane
I ask too much of me

I visualise as if my life is burning to end
without a purpose at all

I ask myself
who is your love

and are you sure
it will realise you at all

I have no reply at all

so my questions remain empty
till the other day and night
evening too

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

EUPHORBIA ROYALANA..Dec.19.10.8.02AM

its a chilly weather this morning
but I have opened all doors of my flat and put on the fan at slow speed

I wrote I feel the heat of June at this sneazy winter

I do not feel the physical heat but my stormy thoughts put the things like that

If this is being read by my acquaintance and friend Dr. Dimple : she will put me in a psychiatric asylum and my friend and respected heart .Dr. Harish Arora will put his sarkari sig to prove the point.

I don't claim of much of psychiatric disorders
but probably I am none other than its plethora of implications

my heart asks: change the scenario: if you were living with a beauty around you:
Now I am compelled to accept this ground reality would have been completely inverted

Now it says it proves that you are a definite case of psychiatric disorder

things may be too twisty twirly on light side

but rainbow of ground realities takes its own toll

so here are the equations

I wander for the wandering sake

definitely I will prefer to write new equations and challenges
as my friend Neha suggested one time
but I know its too easy to write as the excellence of writing is already with you with the hurrying experience of dedicated reading in between the lines and the learning process of the yrs if put together makes things too glossy

I know reality is too cruel

probably that is the reason

I do not let my bio system to adopt to luxury

as I hardly know

when I am asked to run and shoot

source:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

BOUGANVILLIA..Dec.18.10.8.00PM

I was a lonely heart in near smashing crowds of Nehru Place this afternoon
my this visit was too mundane- to purchase a data traveller

but my heart always looks for alibi
as if God is simply free of its infinite work to please this pumping machine

time travels with unforeseen cardinals
but why we fall short of its goals

I have no reply at hand

as the equation and meaning of time is different with different scenarios

back home
I was surfing one of my sweet hearts snaps

why things are too close and infinitesimal at another quotient
my heart was poking me this time

some of my source of inspirations do come on line
but I do not converse at all
my questions remain to myself only

the vacuum gathers momentum

but I know there is hardly anything else

self centred existence is de fault causality
with which you have to negotiate
irrespective of your potentials

this is what time stands for
an elderly person told me one day

I still wonder
why we are so time circumscribed

is it we
or the existential factors put the final thumb

may be both

source:::::::::::::

BOUGANVILLIA..Dec.14.10.8.30PM

meet with the mooring is probably what I make of sand dunes and my heart


happy moments self defined
its a different equation

whilst at FDK psychiatry ward I was exposed to plethora of happenings hitherto airy to my nerves

but how it shall take a reality quotient
I hardly know of it

I remain obsessed with work equations
probably that's what Nature has bestowed upon me

how a heart shall enthuse an array of exotic moments
my heart looks around round the clock

yes its true
I really don't know

is that less knowledge is a bliss
one can say that

but the reality crunch
it hardly leaves anyone unprepared

I feel the heat of June in this chilly weather
it occurs vice versa at June timings

I search my heart

find no reply at all

may be
I am that only

source : Dr.Dimple.b

INFLOURESCENCE.,Dec.06.10.7.00PM

Bank of Baroda Defence Colony New Delhi
the special home loan counter

I was calm posed to get my loan payment for tax purposes

it was a usual day except for the lady officer dealing my case

nothin special
but I make sand dunes with a beautiful pen paint of thoughts
to survive the monotony that hits me at every another second with me

I recall my previous writting , exuberant with euphoric moments with a hidden thread of sad tone

but I was happy for that moments at the euphoric experience

some hearts are fragrant
it leaves your aura with a sunami of freshness and relevance

I know the backwaters
they will go with all my worth
leaving me again in a ditch of vaccum lit large

but who cares